by Michael Bowen & r & & r & Jo Frost Nipping Your Nose & r & & r & The ABC show Supernanny wants to exhibit Spokanites' egregious parenting skills in front of a nationwide audience, just so while on camera they can be told off by a British bossyboots. If you want to audition for the show (hint: cameras will be rolling from the moment you and your brats enter the waiting area), then please e-mail or please call (323) 904-4680 or (877) NANNY-TIME or please visit Please. And behave yourself. Thank you.

Sorry, I'm Slammed

They've been holding elimination tournaments since September, and now it's time for the big dogs to run (and versify). At Empyrean on Wednesday, May 16, at 7 pm (or so), seven poets will read and extemporize, competing in three timed rounds in the finals of the Spokane Poetry Slam.

You should check it out, if only because you might end up with the numbered cards: According to poet John Kephart, "judges are anybody -- anybody who shows up can be a judge."

The top four competitors will represent the 'Kan by competing in the U.S. finals of Poetry Slam International, to be held in August in Austin (a lovely month, we hear, to be in Texas). Visit or call 838-9819.

We Don't Want a Trade Show

We want a free show. At least that's the impression we got while kibitzing during the Bloomsday pre-race bazaar at the Spokane Schooner and Upside-Down Convention Center. People stood 40 deep in a line so they could spin a wheel and win stuff like pens and sticky notes. At the Inlander booth, the big draws were the Mountain Gear raffle and the free pencils. Around here, we like our free writing implements.

From Almira to Esa-Pekka

The Spokane String Quartet's cellist, Helen Byrne, knew them from back among the grain silos and from the Spokane Junior Symphony. Now Mick and Stacy Wetzel play in Walt Disney Hall with the Los Angeles Philharmonic. They'll join Byrne, pianist Linda Siverts, and the other members of the SSQ in a program at the Bing featuring the Bruckner viola quintet and other works on Mother's Day at 3 pm. Tickets: $18; $15, seniors; $10, students. Call 624-2399 or 325-SEAT.

Louis Comfort Tiffany: Treasures from the Driehaus Collection @ Northwest Museum of Arts & Culture

Tuesdays-Sundays, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Continues through Feb. 13
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