by MICHAEL BOWEN & r & & r & A Different Kind of Alarm & r & & r & They honk, they flash, and do we pay any attention to them? We do not. Let the bad guy steal your damn Lexus.





But Suburban Auto Group in Sandy, Oregon, has just the thing you need in auto security systems: the Trunk Monkey. (Search for the video at pranks.com.) Their series of TV commercials presents a convenient solution for all those times when the cop pulls you over, the kids egg your car, or the crook hot-wires your ignition. And the Trunk Monkey knows how to get revenge.





Sick of the Oscars?


Get sicker. Here are some ridiculously speculative guesses about what will win gold next February. (You have incontention.com to blame.) Frank Langella vs. Michael Sheen in Frost/Nixon (sparring over the post-Watergate debates). Philip Seymour Hoffman vs. Meryl Streep in Doubt (mother superior accuses 1960s priest of sexually abusing one of his schoolboys). The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt ages backwards in a story by F. Scott Fitzgerald). The Soloist (Robert Downey Jr. helps Jamie Foxx get a star turn on violin). Reservation Road (Leo and Kate -- not on the Titanic, but trying to raise a family in 1950s Connecticut). And for the technical categories, there's some quiet little film this summer called Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.





Passionate Passion


The 2008 edition of the Northwest Bach Festival concluded spectacularly Sunday with Bach's St. Matthew Passion under Gunther Schuller's steady direction. The guest soloists, all of whom have been here before, performed marvelously, of course, but, oh, the deliciousness of Tracy Dunlop's violin accompanying an alto aria and Max Mendez's sure, lyrical baritone proclaiming the words of Jesus throughout the recitatives. Keith Thomas' oboe, Bruce Bodden's flute -- there were too many wonderful moments to mention. At the conclusion, after more than three hours of music, our seat neighbor said, without irony, "It wasn't long enough." Kudos to all.





Valley of the Bars


As alert readers pointed out, our Bar Guide (2/21/08) omitted any mention of several fine drinking establishments in Spokane Valley. (Knew we should have gotten a designated editor!) Look for a Bar Guide supplement next week in our March 6 issue.

Heartistry: Artistic Wellbeing @ Spark Central

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Michael Bowen

Michael Bowen is a former senior writer for The Inlander and a respected local theater critic. He also covers literature, jazz and classical music, and art, among other things.