In the most recent year for which stats blah blah, 2,300 teenagers and children called U.S. poison-control centers for caffeine-related complaints: racing hearts, severe headaches, can't stop vomiting.
Retching teens, all across America. Lovely. And this was back in 2005 -- you think "energy drinks" are any less popular now?
There's actually a competitor product called "Free Cocaine." In just one can, it contains the java jolt you'd find in four and a half cups of coffee.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are facing a caffeine crisis. We call upon Sens. Obama and McCain to commit America to a new War on Drugs aimed at excessive caffeine intake. Hopefully, more successful than our current war on drugs.
Tour de Madeleine
Madeleine's hosts a day-long celebration of the Tour de France on Saturday, with pastry and sandwich specials in honor of all things Francais. "We have been encouraged and inspired to do this by our growing number of cycling customers," says owner Deb Green. "We love that more and more of them are choosing to ride to Madeleine's, so the day is our way of saying 'Thank you' and hopefully doing something nice and fun for them." Croissants, fromage, caf & eacute; au lait, baguettes, frites -- you name it and Madeleine's will have it. The Paris-Brest dessert, you say? Mais oui, certainement! And they'll have extra bike racks on hand to support pedal power. Call 624-2253.
Ledger Art and Frybread
The annual Julyamsh Indian Art Show and Sale, featuring more than 30 artists, will be held Thursday, July 24, from 5:30-7:30 pm at the Jacklin Arts & amp; Culture Center (at the Old Church), 405 William St. in Post Falls' historic district. Dance regalia and the creative techniques of George Flett and Richard Hill will be on display. Call (208) 457-8950.
Flopping in a Public Shower
If you decide to go for a run on a hot afternoon and finish with a dash through Riverfront Park's Rotary Club Fountain, some advice: Directly beneath the fountain, the footing's unsure. And after you slip, that cascading torrent comes down hard.
One of those umbrella hats, maybe?