by MICHAEL BOWEN & r & & r & Flailing Quackers & r & & r & You know the guy who caught the baby ducks and led them to safety? Not only did PETA give him a Compassionate Action Award, but now he has a great pickup line at parties. Bank loan officer Joel Armstrong caught the little birds as they followed their mother in jumping off a 10-foot awning onto a downtown sidewalk -- and now, all the women in the mortgage department want to hear is: "Yeah, I'm the one who saved the ducklings."

So the next time Fluffy whines at the door, asking to be let outside, the least you could do is get up off the Barcalounger. (It might help with the ladies.) And could Armstrong catch us the next time we stumble out of a downtown bar?

Keep These Kids All Wet

Imagine being the parents of a little kid who wants more than anything this summer to swim in one of Spokane's city pools. And not being able to afford a bathing suit.

You can fix that. You can make an online donation at; or you can drop off a new swimsuit at 315 W. Mission Ave. or during the morning showings of The Game Plan (June 23-27 at 9:30 am at the Garland Theater - please arrive by 9 am). Visit or call 326-5233 or 327-1050.

Six-Word Memoirs

No, they're not like haiku. East Valley High students have drilled down to the essence of their own biographies -- and illustrated them. On display at Empyrean through June. Call 838-9819.

Back to Their Roots

Misty River -- a Portland-based all-female acoustic quartet (guitar, fiddle, accordion and bass) -- will harmonize folk, country and Celtic sounds in a performance on Friday night at Trent Elementary School (just south of Pines Road in Spokane Valley). The Inland Northwest Bluegrass Association-sponsored concert will begin at 7:30 pm after an opening act of student vocalists at 7 pm. Visit or or call 465-5898.

Brews and Baby Lettuce

The Brothers Hill -- Dave and Steve -- host their 22nd Brewers Dinner on Tuesday, June 24, featuring the beers of Georgetown Brewing. Each dish is prepared with the beer it's paired with, including dessert: huckleberry ice cream with 9-lb Porter chocolate sauce. Cost: $47. Call Hills' Restaurant at 747-3946.

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