Didn't I just write about summer TV, like, yesterday? Time flies when you're cranking out genius prose on the reg, oblivious to the seasons — at least now I can do it (above-ground) poolside.
Here are eight new series debuting this summer that look promising, as well as a list of premiere dates for returning favorite shows. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a cabana boy to discipline.
PISTOL (MAY 31, HULU)
Johnny "Rotten" Lydon doesn't approve, which is the best stamp of approval. The six-episode Pistol is based on Sex Pistols guitarist Steve Jones' memoir, with Danny Boyle directing this punk cosplay-ization of the band's 1975-1978 rise and flameout. Boyle's style is chaos, and Pistol's bullet-pointed anarchy flies by as quickly as the Sex Pistols' career did. It may or may not be historically accurate, but Pistol does have the music rights, which is all it needs.
DARK WINDS (JUNE 12, AMC/AMC+)
Based on the Leaphorn & Chee crime novel series, Dark Winds follows Navajo Tribal Police officers Joe Leaphorn (Zahn McClarnon) and Jim Chee (Kiowa Gordan) as they work local cases in 1970s Monument Valley. The veteran cop and the rookie both have troubled pasts and personal demons (very True Detective), but Dark Winds is a dusty crime-noir thriller that's more than it seems on the surface. Bonus: Rainn Wilson as a sketchy car salesman/evangelist.
LOOT (JUNE 24, APPLE TV+)
When her husband of 20 years leaves her, billionaire socialite Molly (Maya Rudolph) has a public meltdown of TMZ proportions. To pick herself up, Molly throws herself into working at a charity foundation she's just learned she has, which is not cool with the foundation's boss (Michaela Jaé Rodriguez). Loot is a breezy workplace comedy from the writers behind 30 Rock and Master of None, and it might even make you empathize with billionaires (but probably not).
MOONHAVEN (JUNE 30, AMC+)
Speaking of billionaires: In 2122, they've established a utopian gated community on the moon to chill in while someone figures out how to save the dying Earth (raise your hand if you're skeptical Earth will last another 100 years). When cargo pilot/smuggler Bella (Emma McDonald) finds herself marooned on Moonhaven, she becomes embroiled in a Vast Conspiracy™ that could destroy the lunar paradise. But it's also full of cult hippies, so... maybe let it slide?
RESIDENT EVIL (JULY 14, NETFLIX)
In the nearer dystopian future of 2036, Netflix's eight-episode Resident Evil series (not to be confused with the streamer's animated version) picks up in a world overrun with feral zombies—and the Umbrella Corporation is still experimenting (evil gonna evil). This Resident Evil skews younger, with 20-something Jade (Ella Balinska) battling zombies in London between flashbacks to New Raccoon City. It also does not skimp on the blood and carnage.
SHE-HULK: ATTORNEY AT LAW (AUG. 17, DISNEY+)
Like the mind-bending Moon Knight, She-Hulk is a Marvel Cinematic Universe deep cut that few Gen-X fanboys ever imagined could be translated into a TV series. Lawyer-to-superbeing Jennifer (Tatiana Maslany) gains big green powers herself after receiving a blood transfusion from her cousin Bruce (aka Hulk, played by Mark Ruffalo). She-Hulk will work because Orphan Black actress Maslany is good enough to overcome the janky CGI (did Disney run out of money?).
HOUSE OF THE DRAGON (AUG. 21, HBO/HBO MAX)
Remember Game of Thrones? House of the Dragon is a prequel series set 200 years before the events of GoT and at least three years after most interest in Westeros-based content has waned. For the diehards, House of the Dragon adapts author George R.R. Martin's House Targaryen-centric Fire & Blood novel and stars Paddy Considine, Emma D'Arcy, Matt Smith, Olivia Cooke, Rhys Ifans, Eve Best, and Fabien Frankel. Reddit already hates it.
LITTLE DEMON (AUG. 25, FXX/HULU)
A single Delaware mom (Aubrey Plaza) attempts to live her best life with her teenage daughter, but the estranged dad keeps butting in. The twist: The father is Satan himself (Danny DeVito). The other twist: The daughter is voiced by DeVito's IRL offspring, Lucy DeVito. The animated Little Demon sounds a helluva lot like 2007 Adult Swim series Lucy, Daughter of the Devil, but executive producer Dan Harmon (Rick & Morty) would never borrow an idea... right?
The Orville (June 2, Hulu), P-Valley (June 2, Starz), The Boys (June 3, Prime Video), Physical (June 3, Apple TV+), For All Mankind (June 10, Apple TV+), Evil (June 12, Paramount+), Rutherford Falls (June 16, Peacock), The Umbrella Academy (June 22, Netflix), Westworld (June 26, HBO/HBO Max), Only Murders in the Building (June 28, Hulu), Chad (July 11, TBS), What We Do in the Shadows (July 12, FX/Hulu), Reservation Dogs (Aug. 3, Hulu). ♦