I SAW YOU

Smelly Stuff:
I saw you at the northtown Bath & Body works. You were debating about purchasing a bottle of "Graphite" due to its similarities to your beloved "Oak." I was the blonde fascinated by the bread scented candle. I hope the future brings you the smelly stuff of your dreams.

Hawaiian Shirts and Italian Food: I saw you at Ferraros on Friday. You managed your screaming companions with ease. You ordered steak and spaghetti and looked fabulous in that Hawaiian shirt and sweatshirt ensemble. I wish I had your patience and confidence.

Zoboomafoo Blues: You, cute guy on 22 Bus to Downtown. Me, man carrying large package of oatmeal that was slowly leaking onto the floor. My eye (singular) met yours. We started talking about the kids show Zoboomafoo and how sad it was that the lemur who played him was dead. I should have asked if you wanted to go out some time for some paella, but balked. I'm on the 22 most days. Come find me X

Fair tails fie: Well here we are two people who were supposed to be together till the end. Now we can't even talk. You swore you loved me with all your heart. I'm gone two days and you already have someone living with you. And yet I still care i always will. You are a wonderful lady and I am so utterly lost I don't know if you stayed until I could do for myself but I'm thankful. I don't like to think you were unhappy but the way you talk you were not happy at all makes me feel rotten. I want you happy one day. I truly hope we can be friends. But no matter what I will always love you. Have a great life

RV Show at the Fairgrounds on Saturday: You are a very cute, petite woman with long, dark hair and you wear glasses. You were standing with a group of people when we made, what felt like to me anyway, meaningful eye contact a few times. Here it is 4 days later and I'm still thinking about you. I just want you to know that you are beautiful.

Your kindness stacks up: I saw you at the Northside IHOP on Saturday the 2nd. You were celebrating your birthday early with a stack of Tres Leches pancakes and commenting and the finer things in life. You told your short companions that you were proud of them several times and were so kind to the waitstaff. I owe you a stack sometime.

Seeking Ice Cream Lover: This is her daughter and she says she saw you too. Valley Assembly of God in the Valley goes to DQ frequently on Wednesdays after small group and she is at church on Sundays. Yes, she is no spring chicken but is a lot of fun and does have awesome earrings. I think she would feel better if we all met up for ice cream or dinner the first time. We don't want her to miss a chance either! What are the chances her friend saw this and brought it to her? A million to one! How do we connect with you?

CHEERS

Peace Maker:
Cheers to the woman who fearlessly broke up a fight outside of 7-11 on Monday afternoon, 1/28. She stopped her maroon van in traffic to get out and assist the situation with the utmost strength. You're willingness to help the good of everyone was inspiring. Takes a village, and you've promoted my goals to be proactive and kind.

Sexy: Thank you for being there for me the past 6 years. You're the best friend i have had in along time. And I hope we are still friends six years from now. Love your Timmy Tim

Thank You: To the guy with the red truck at Sullivan gas station Monday evening. Thank you for jump starting my brother's vehicle. We appreciate your help and kindness. Thank you so much!!

Thanks comrades: Thank you Spokane DSA, even though I'm long gone from my American home, knowing you're still there to fight the good fight always makes me feel better. Much love to you all, especially the ones who stood by me this time last year X

Letter from the UK: To Spokane friends near and far, it's been coming up onto a year now since my life fell apart in the city I loved so much. I had hoped to live there the rest of my life. Maybe I will again someday. But I just want to say thank you to you all, the people who stood by me. You stopped me from ending it all in some soulless apartment to spite someone. I love you all X

JEERS

Situational Awareness:
To the people who go into the entryway at Costco a few feet and then stop causing customers behind them to stack up like pancakes. Wake up! Look around! Ditto to the people who get on their cellphones at the check in scanner at Health Clubs so no one can check in. Also to the people who stop to visit with 10 of their dearest friends to visit in the aisles in the grocery store or by the entrance. To all of these: find a better place to stop away from entrances and aisles. It's not difficult.

Cruisin': Some of y'all learned to drive in big cities, and it shows.

Negligent Dog Owners: Jeers to the couple seen at Chipotle around lunch on 1/31 with their small dog confined in a bag. You left your whimpering animal at a table, crammed in a tiny backpack while you selfishly took your sweet time ordering and eating-showing no mercy for your distressed dog! Animals are NOT accessories to be toted around. Leave your dog at home or figure out how to travel with them humanely. Please be kind and think of what is best for your pet. Your heartless ignorance makes me sick!

BOO HOO! Government Employees: I am so sick of people who barely suffer and whine like a small child whose parent won't buy them a toy at the store! I am referring to Federal government employees and the recent shutdown. I will make this simple to understand, the average Federal employee annual salary is roughly $80,000! let that sink in, $80,000! So if the federal government shuts down for three months that would be one fourth of their annual salary or $20,000. Sounds like a lot doesn't it? Keep in mind they still have $60,000 left! No need to mention the on average 13 days of paid vacation, 13 days of paid sick leave, 10 paid holidays, full health insurance, student loan payback, child care, 401k.... So BOO HOO! Many people, just like me, work extremely hard and don't even make near $20,000 a year. Benefits? What are those? Yet we carry on doing the best with what we are given. No one brings us food, or gives special deals and discounts on our purchases. If you are getting $60,000 or more a year be humble, never complain, and wipe those tears away cause your ordeal is not anywhere as bad as it could be and for many is! Keep it up you selfish whiny little ingrates.

Should read the driver's guide: Yesterday, 1-28-19. We were on I-90. I was doing the speed limit, you were coming on the freeway. I couldn't really slow down because of I was going 60 and there were others behind me. You forced your way on even though you didn't have right away. I only had two options. 1. Go into the next lane and hit someone or 2. Slam on my breaks and hope no one hits me. After cutting me off and taking option 2, you flipped me off like it was my fault, when it was really yours. You did NOT have right away. Either learn the rules of the road, or stop driving. ♦

BARE @ Stage Left Theater

Sundays, 2-4:30 p.m. Continues through June 16
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