I Saw You

Week of September 17th

Cycle Babe:
We saw each other at the free concert, in Sherman Square Park, CDA, Idaho, on Tuesday evening, 9/1. The band Pastiche was playing. You parked your bicycle and stood in front of me. I stood on the sidewalk near my bicycle. I was struck by your vibe and good looks. We shared a glance and I know now I should have introduced myself. You: WF, medium height, nice figure, white tank-top, cream-colored shorts, fiftyish. Me: WM, tall, athletic build, sixtyish. I'd like to take you on a date in order to determine if our stars are in alignment :) Please contact: parabolic.diatom@gmail.com

Amazing Mom at Vessel on North Monroe: We met at the side door to Vessel on Friday. You had your small crew plus a beautiful new baby in the stroller. You handed me your gift card and asked me if I could use it. I was going in to purchase some things for an auction at our local community center. I want to say "thank you" for a sweet gesture and the kind blessing but I also want to invite you to call me. You were doing amazing with all your little one's and I live in the neighborhood too and would love to bring you a coffee so you can take a breathe and enjoy it. My kids are older but I remember always feeling like I never had a moment to myself. I am sure the person who gave you that gift card wanted you to treat yourself but so difficult with your little crew in tow. You are doing great Mama! You can reach me at the West Central Community Center WIC Office.

Generosity helps:
During the Seahawks halftime we went to the Argonne & Trent Walgreens to buy some of the effective dust masks. The store had none, but a lady shopping overheard my husband's request and took him to her car where she had a 30 pack of masks purchased from another store. She gave him 2 masks, refusing any money. We truly appreciate her kindness and generosity.

Thank you NC teachers! Cheers to the North Central teachers and staff for all your hard work preparing for the start of this school year. You are dealing with the changes with grace and compassion, and I hope you know that you are appreciated. Thank you.

Nevada St. Winco... employee? You ended up crossing my path and I have to admit enjoying a bit more than your musclebound patriotic shirt. Thank you for brightening my otherwise monotonous Friday.

Love from Across the Pond: Solidarity with my Spokane DSA comrades, I miss you all lots, your comrade across the Atlantic Ocean x

The Double Bird: Krispy Kreme Employees, who are working tirelessly through the pandemic, deemed essential because...well, people gotta get their doughnuts, right! Then who walks in? "Karen" I don't have a mask and I don't care about anyone but myself. "But I have a medical condition!" She brusquely says. So, the nice Krispy Kreme girls told you to go through the drive through. Your response... flipping them off with both your hands, arms raised. Well there you go woman! You made your point, and they did too. They can deny you service you rude, inconsiderate ignoramus! And they did so politely, and took your crap. Well, be glad I'm not working there... I would have let you have it!

Thank you Mr. Connelly: Cheers to Mr. Connelly at North Central High School. You are one of the most empathetic and caring teachers I've ever met. We are thankful that you are our daughter's advisory teacher, especially this year which will be challenging on many levels. We appreciate your optimism and positive energy. We wish you the best.

Homemade teepee made from pizza: To Danieal, the waitress at Tomato Street that made my girlfriend and I smile even though our teepee vacation was canceled. Thank you for lifting our spirits.

Helpful Dud: It was dark out and I got a flat tire on my way to pick up my husband from work, so I pulled over in a driveway. A nice guy named Jay came out of his house and offered his help to change it. He was so friendly and willing to help me out — and I'm a total stranger! He said he worked at a local tire shop and he said if I needed to get the tire patched or needed a new tire or anything else to stop by and he would make sure to take care of it. I appreciated his help that evening — thank you Jay!

Silver Chevy Equinox:
Is your coffee more important than causing an accident in the parking lot of the coffee stand?

Condom-wearer: To the guy who resented his tax dollars going to feed hungry kids, you have my deepest gratitude for choosing to have zero kids — no child deserves to be raised by someone who lacks empathy. When a parent decides to have a child, it's a long-term financial commitment — not like buying a house or car that the bank can repossess. I don't know many people who can guarantee they'll have a stable income for the next 18 years... and the people I know who can are too old to have kids! And for all that the pro-lifers say about how important it is to give birth to that baby, not many are there to help when you can't get child care so you can get a night job, or to demand that single moms get paid as much as men doing the same job. The average Joe Prophylactic actually reaps more benefits from big government than he pays for in taxes. Any investment in youth (public schools, subsidized daycare, playgrounds, and nutrition programs) will someday return to you in safe roads and bridges, senior housing assistance, Medicare, and Social Security. It's called social responsibility, look into it.

Losers and suckers: Facts: My dad was shot down during a bomb run over Germany during WWII. My dad was captured and spent 28 months in a German concentration camp (Stalag #3). His entire left side was riddled with flak and he was refused any medical care by the German doctors. My dad was liberated by Gen. George Patton. My dad received 15 medals including the Air Medal, the Flying Cross and the Purple Heart. My dad retired in 1962 after 26 years serving his country. My dad was an officer and a gentleman and one of the most courageous men I have ever had the privilege of knowing. My dad was NOT a sucker and my dad was not a loser.

ONLINE GROCERY ORDERS!!!!! This goes out to those who order their groceries online..... Do you people think that those who delivery your crap do it for FUN???? We are in a PANDEMIC if you have not noticed!! Most of us who deliver your crap are trying to pay rent and feed kids.. We are doing what we can to get thru this, and you people expect the delivery drivers to put gas in their cars out of their own pockets to bring you your crap!!! How fricken' insulting and selfish of you not to tip your driver!!!!! We climb three flights of stairs for you, often have to drive your crap 16 miles away or some god for saken place... We handle your crap with care, we keep the colds cold and the warm warm, we don't know any of you from a hole in the ground, but we do what we do to feed our hungry kids and pay bills.. Some of us do not get the dream of sitting on unemployment and rakin' in more money than those who put their lives at risk every day to bring you food and necessities. Drivers keep a mental note of which customers tip and which ones don't... when we see your name and order pop up we turn our back. Soon you will have a hard time getting any of us to deliver you your crap... the way you treat us is WRONG!! Makes me want to throw your bags in your yard, spit in your milk, and crush your Doritos!!! If it wasn't for your delivery driver you would not have toilet paper... think about that the next time you want to stiff your driver!!! Maybe my 12 kids and I will come camp in your yard when we cant pay the rent because of selfish self absorbed jerks like you!!!!!!!!!!

Couple who stole downtown: Hey! Friday Sept. 4 at around 4:30 pm I saw you on Main Ave. downtown stealing the sunglasses off of a man who was being beaten up by a clearly mentally unwell person. When I asked you to give them back, you laughed and said they were yours. To the man of that couple, you're a bad person and I hope karma kicks you in the butt. To the woman, what happened in your life that your standards are so low you would be attracted to someone like that? You two are garbage humans and you make Spokane look next level trashy. Please stay away from civilization until you can learn how to behave decently. Embarassing. ♦

Paul Reiser @ Spokane Comedy Club

Fri., Jan. 28, 7 & 9:30 p.m. and Sat., Jan. 29, 7 & 9:30 p.m.
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