I Saw You

Week of February 18


Garland Rocket Bakery: We passed each other grabbing coffee Monday morning and caught eyes. Sweet Arc'teryx jacket. Grab your drink next time? Climb? Ski?!

In the Produce Section: I saw you in the produce section of the grocery store carefully squeezing the lemons, trying to find the best one. You caught my eye, and I was struck... by the sight of your nostrils hanging out above your mask rendering it so completely ineffective. As you breathed your potentially contagious droplets all over the food others may be taking to their homes that night, I couldn't help to notice that while you may feel like a rebel who can't be bothered to follow a basic safety rule intended to protect the most vulnerable in our society, you look like an absolute moron who can't figure out how to put a mask properly on your face. We are so close to maybe being past the worst of this pandemic. Please keep wearing your masks in public for just a little while longer. Thanks.


Blue Eyes: I was willing to fight for you, not with you. I will always love you!... more than Dolly Parton... and you know how much THAT is. - Key of G...or C....or D.

Suggested Headline: Cheers to the young Burger King drive-through employee with the great hair who complimented my mom on her Nirvana t-shirt. You made her day!

I Am Sorry: I am so sorry for your pain. I feel. What I've brought upon you. Please know it was never what we intended. I am sorry.

Lovely Lunch Ladies: Cheers to the friendly and kind lunch ladies at Glover who took the extra time to make a vegetarian lunch kit for my daughter. Thank you!


Rub Their Nose In It: Have you ever noticed how much dog poop there is on the Centennial Trail? I often see people walking their dog(s) along the trail and allowing them to defecate anywhere they'd like without the "person" picking it up so that others don't have to smell it and/or walk in it. It seems to me like these people are dumber than their dogs. When I was young I remember someone saying it was easy to train their puppy to avoid crapping inside because they rubbed their nose in it while teaching the dog to go outside (preferably on their own property). Since these mouth breathers watch as their dog(s) poop, they obviously are too stupid to realize this is bad because the defecrap is in the way of walkers, strollers and runners. So, here is a suggestion. First offense, tell the stupid person to clean up their dogs shart. Second offense, fine the idiot enough money to make it hurt. Third, rub their nose in their dog's hot poop pie. Who am I kidding? Those idiots aren't reading this. They can't read. Also, rubbing their nose in the feces wouldn't work because one has to be intelligent enough to understand the punishment. Hey, keep running on those river trails Spokane! Enjoy all the feces.

Dear "Guy Who Hates the Pinch": You wrote in saying how much you hate the Pinch being left on your sidewalk. Here is a suggestion, instead of wasting your time leaving messages and writing letters, just save the paper so you can use it as wrapping for gifts you give (if you ever give gifts). You can dress them up nicely with pretty ribbons. Other positive uses could include starting a nice warm fire in your fireplace (if you have one). Use the paper for packing material when shipping something. My mom used to bake a lot of cookies, and she would cool them on sheets of newspaper. If you or a friend move, newspaper works great for wrapping your breakables (if you save these papers, you don't have to go to the store and steal stacks of the other free ones). Maybe you could take up origami. These are just a few ideas to think about. Moving forward, whenever you have a situation that you feel is negative, try to make a positive outcome of it. Life will be much less stressful. Isn't life hard enough without worrying about a FREE paper on your stoop. Sincerely, Gal that LOVES the Pinch! P.S. Thank you Spokesman-Review and The Inlander for all the free wrapping paper!

What Is Wrong With You? It doesn't seem to matter to most Republican politicians & their constituents that Trump is a dangerous person, as he has shown us, & shouldn't be anywhere close to running the USA. I'm reading that his tax cuts for the rich, deregulation & other traditional GOP priorities are their reasons. But what about the scumbags who attacked the capitol? Do they fall into those categories? I asked an ordinary man why he voted for Trump; his answer: "he talks like me." Self-serving Republicans are in the me, me, me category; "what am I gonna get out of it?" I'm up in age & have seen many politicians come & go, & I'll tell ya the Republicans bring shame upon our beloved country.

Great... Now I'm the Bad Guy? To the Starbucks employee expecting me to pay it forward. I am so sick and tired of this whole gratitude, show kindness BS! It legitimately has me on the brink of a breakdown. The next car ahead of me that pays for my drink may result in a fit of unexpected rage. I could care less if you've got 50 pay it forwards in a row, I am not making it 51! The soccer mom behind me with her 5 bratty kids are going to have to pay for their own blended frap-crap and cake pops. When did it become a crime to enjoy an unexpected gift? This isn't about good people showing gratitude. It's about the fact that no one wants to be the a-hole. Well, guess what? I'm the a-hole, and I am going to enjoy the hell out of my free drink.

OMG CMR! OMG CMR! You voted, once again, to a-quit Trump even though there was a mountain of evidence proving he most certainly caused the insurrection never seen before on our nation's capital. You could have been killed by your own terrorist followers and leader! Your fellow members of Congress and the Senate could have been killed! Pence was thrown under the bus for possible hanging by his and your own followers and you still voted to let Trump go! This is unbelievable! You could care less about anyone around you! Just like Trump! Your GOP continues to fight against real COVID relief. It is blatantly obvious to us you are one of several Members of The New Republican Cult, designed to dismantle and destroy our country. You could have beheaded the snake from your party and moved forward into better ethics and character, but instead you signed him on as your Master Leader for the future. This is atrocious! Where are your ethics!? What the hell has happened to You and the Republican Party!? Cathy you broke your oath of office by denying a flawless election, amongst other things. You people are obviously trying to tear down our Constitution, our Rights, our Public Lands, and everything else, while our climate begins to drive us to extinction. You people do nothing to save the planet for our kids. You deny the true facts of science but believe in and spread myths, conspiracies and lies. You support racist behavior, and these despicable groups choose horrible GOP humans like you because you throw the "religious card" and "gun control" fear nonsense (God and Guns) to make it seem OK! (By the way, God would never approve of "guns and his name" in the same pathetic sentence. Stop it!) Also, if God could vote, he most certainly would Not vote Republican anything right now. Trump is mentally ill beyond a shadow of doubt, and he is extremely sexist. And You!... are a Woman, of all things! You and Your party are disassembling women rights! Trump goes down in history flames as being the worst human to lead our country into division, and you chose the same toilet to go down. You flushed yourself! You should be ashamed. It is high time you step down from office. ♦

Broken Mic @ Neato Burrito

Wednesdays, 6:30 p.m.
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