I Saw You

Week of May 20

I SAW YOU

Why are you honking at me? Nearly everyday for the past four years now, you drive by my job site and honk at me. You drive a maroon Honda (Accord?) with lots of bumper stickers on the back. Today I was telling my co-worker about it when speak of the devil, you look right at me and honk as you drive by. I didn't recognize you. Do I know you? Have we met? Do you want to? Who are you? Why do you honk? What is your name? Do you have a crush on me or something? I am single, and so far your level of commitment to let me know you're thinking about me every single day for the past four years is better than my ex-wife's! LMAO. Regardless please stop honking at me and just stop by and say hello. Seriously though please stop the HONKING! It startles me, and on more than a few occasions nearly caused me to fall off my ladder or drop something.

Masked Fireman at NW Blvd. Safeway: You: tall, fit, fireman in uniform, checking out before me. Me: seemingly shy (not accurate) brunette buying (not enough) beer. I feel like I missed my opportunity to invite you over to shovel dirt; I would've bought more beer. ;) Meet for a beer to discuss future opportunities?

CHEERS

Lord of the Garage Sales: Cheers to the folks who referenced Tolkien on their garage sale sign!

NA/AA Zoom meetings: To these great meetings that are happening around the world 24/7 — Thank you! I need this recovery more than anything, but these people are so welcoming, humble and down to earth. Thank you for opening your door along with your hearts to build a unified community during these hard times. I will continue to show up and put in the work and do what it takes to change my life.

DownRiver Disk Golf: A few weeks ago I wrote a "jeers" about the Downriver Disk Golf Course on how filthy it has become. Somebody took notice and cleaned this place up 100%. It been two weeks now and still looks spotless!!! Good job and thank you for taking the time — place looks fantastic!!!!

You made my day: I believe it was the morning of Tuesday, May 4. I was behind you in line at the North Wild coffee stand in Suncrest. I pulled up to the window and was surprised to find out you bought my coffee! You were driving a white SUV and you made my day! I sincerely appreciate your kindness, especially in the challenging year we have all had. Thank you so much!!

Thank you! I lost my car keys off my back bumper a few weeks ago somewhere between the Hays Park area and the dump off Sullivan, THANK YOU!! very much to whoever turned them into Planet Fitness. Jim & Lisa

JEERS

Re: Bloomsday Boneheads: I read with amusement the comment about "Bloomsday Boneheads" in the last Inlander. It was interesting that the "jeer" was completed with "this is an example of how White people are the worst." My observation was that a large number of people ran Bloomsday, and they seemed to be of all ethnicities. I find it hard to believe that only "White people" didn't run on the "wide enough sidewalk." Come to think of it, the writer of the "jeer" sounds kind of like a "bonehead."

Stop Being So Lazy: So what is up with laziness of the people in this town who can't return a shopping cart to the store? How hard is it to push the cart a few extra feet instead of just dumping it anywhere in the parking lot?

Walk on the right side: I am beyond tired of asking people to walk on the righthand side of the halls, the sidewalks, the aisles, the anything. It might be slightly inconveniencing for you, but I'm autistic, and I have severe anxiety about walking in public. And since people don't come with me to shop to help me calm down, it just sits there and festers silently while I bite my tongue. Well no longer. You walk on the right, not in the middle, not on the left — on the right. You walk quickly, you walk in a line, not in a group, and you don't turn around abruptly if you missed a turn. You wait until you know the aisle is clear before moving forward. Don't just start walking and expect another person to not be there. Walk on the right. It really isn't that damn hard. You all think I'm kidding, but I ain't. I've made Jeers posts about this before, and the next time I have to tell somebody this, I will do so with a megaphone and no filter.

Shame on you: Shame on the two older women who mocked and jeered the woman who looked like she had wet her pants at Columbia Surgical on Monday, May 3rd.

Rich house snatchers: People wonder why we here in the Inland Northwest don't like rich moneymongers. Here's one reason. A co-worker of my wife is trying to buy a house, but every time he put an honest bid on one, some rich A-hole comes along and bids $50,000 above asking price. This has happened 10 times so far. To all you rich A-holes who keep doing this, go somewhere else and take away their dreams of owning a home. We have worked for years to try and get a house and don't need you coming in and swiping it out from under us.

Un-Americans: Get over it, he lost. Not only did he lose, but he started an insurrection. Get a grip of yourselves. The only difference between you and a box is, at least the box has worth. Stock market is at record highs; America is and always will be a land of opportunity. If some idiot with rape lawsuits, multiple bankruptcies, and calling his own supporters stupid wins, then lord knows what you're capable of. I'm glad you finally feel wanted. Even if it's by racist, un-American insurrectionists.

Thanks for nothing, Advice Goddess: The so-called Advice Goddess offers truly terrible and one-dimensional advice. Woe to thee that follows her. I've read this column religiously for three years, always trying to abide by the goddess' advice. Four divorces later here I am. Thanks for nothing.

It's hard out here: Hello Spokane. I am writing to just simply say how hard it is to find a place to rent! I am in my mid-20s and work full time from 9-5. My department is short on people, so I normally work six days a week. With that being said... damn near every apartment or rental company is only open 9-5 Monday thru Friday, and they never check their emails. It's hard to work full time-plus and to search for places during the week. The places I have applied for, I keep getting denied because of my credit score. Literally the only thing affecting my credit is my student loans. I don't have anybody to cosign for me. And I have to move by the middle of June. So for anybody in the same situation as me, I wish you good luck. I know I need it!

Should have stayed in California: Jeers to your fake palm trees popping up in Spokane. Maybe you should have stayed in California, or wherever it is that you came from. You're in Washington now, the Evergreen State, and we Washingtonians love our beautiful state and all that is native here. What we don't like is, people like you who move here and bring all of your bad habits with you. Please, stop building big ugly houses with palm trees, and driving like maniacs. Respect our ways or go home! ♦

American Original: The Life and Work of John James Audubon @ Northwest Museum of Arts & Culture

Tuesdays-Sundays, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Continues through Sept. 19
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