I Saw You

Week of March 3

YOU SAW ME

Coming Out: Hi! I was a trainwreck of a comedian, a mediocre improviser with jokes about hooking up with dragons and being a polite schoolgirl. I podcasted, I tried to be undeniable and above all I loved the Spokane comedy scene. But I couldn't get anything to work, no matter what. When my mother passed, madness claimed me. I was trying like hell to burn all bridges and upset the right people enough to get hate crimed by local fascists. None of it worked. When I started playing nonbinary or cross-gender characters, I was facing the idea that I didn't really identify with masculinity. When I started playing the one I'm known for as "agender," I didn't realize I was testing the people around me for amenability to that sort of thing, and I was scared of all the people failing that test. So I went back to the weird edgelord routine until my mother passed and my family disowned me, and I just let insanity claim me. I didn't see any road back, nor a place I wanted to return to, and I genuinely thought my obit would include the words "senseless tragedy." But I'm here now, and I can't just keep sitting in the shadows waiting for old friends to notice me, so here I am with a message: I, the voice of Doctor Donut, the absent technical improviser, the embodiment of mania themselves... they are a trans she/her, and now I no longer have to lie about it and whatever that does to my reputation, so be it. I'm not afraid anymore, and I have nothing to lose. If you know me... come say hi!

CHEERS

Vaccinated and Vindicated: Now that it looks like the COVID pandemic is receding and we can return to a semblance of normal life, it's time to thank the people who made this happen— the ones who got vaccinated, refusing to be human petri dishes for the virus and slowing its spread. The Omicron variant loved the unvaccinated because they were perfect unprotected hosts, and almost all Omicron hospitalizations and deaths were unvaxed holdouts, some of whom railed against vaccines with their—literally—last breaths. If we are really seeing the end of the pandemic it's because there were enough shots in enough arms to stave off and, hopefully, starve the virus into submission. We should all thank the people who got vaxed to protect not just themselves but their communities as a whole. They have done us ALL a great service.

Zelensky 2024: President Zelensky of Ukraine. Why can't we have young courageous leaders like him instead of our way too old cowards like Trump and Biden?

Firemen to the Rescue: A big thank-you to the wonderful firemen and ambulance people that came and took care of me when I fell and split my head open. I had a huge laceration, but they very calmly took care of it. They talked to me and tried to get me to think of something else besides my pain. I appreciate your kindness very, very much.

JEERS

RE: Democrat Elites Want You to Suffer: Wow, OP. Really... Wow!!! You possess the balls to write something as inflammatory and degrading to discredit our sitting president. Well, friendo, a simple statement: Inflation has nothing to do with Democrats. It is merely an economic absolute regarding supply and demand, no matter the political party in power, but also fueled by greedy corporate CEOs ensuring they get to keep their three yachts, five houses, and twelve cars apiece. Of course you probably voted on the Trump ticket, so your intelligence exists at a minimum level sufficient to your work-home-football-guns routine, thus I'm not surprised. Trump gave all those corporations tax breaks. So go yell at him through the iron bars he'll soon enough live behind.

Of Thieves and Bad Policy: Thanks to the scouter in the SUV that has claimed Sixth Street as their smash-windows-and-steal-things street. We have all seen you. We know who you are. And you choose to rob an area where apartment dwellers are just trying to work and start out on a life of their own. Good on you that you can bash out windows and take things that are not yours. What you reap, you sow, and boy do you have it coming. And shame on bad policy! Lock these losers up!!! Shame on WA voters for voting for leftist politicians that relax theft laws! I hope your car windows are bashed in and your belongings are taken. Maybe then you'll learn that little to no punishment doesn't equal no crime.

Response to a Response on Democrat Elites: Dear sir, is that a joke? The Trump administration caused everything the Biden admin is going through? A typical blame-everyone-else liberal response. The Democratic elites do not care. And you need to do your fact-checking yourself instead of listening to the CNN criminals. Watch conferences yourself, read bills yourself. You'll quickly learn that the political world is full of liars that easily persuade people to believe their lies. And you, honey, are deceived. WW111 is clearly going to be the result of a weak-spined president, that president being Joe Biden. The supply chain issue is a result of Trump's tax deductions to help middle class people? What drugs are you smoking? Please. Before you respond and embarrass yourself again, do your research. And not regurgitate everything on CNN.

Unamerican Putin Fans: Jeers to those so-called Americans who seem to think Putin is a great leader and worthy of praise. They seem to forget that not long ago he ordered bounties on our brave American men and women serving our country, not to mention the countless slaughter of innocent men women and children. THAT'S UNAMERICAN!

I Want My Peanuts... Miracles never cease. Finally Chris Cargill (WPC) got one right. Let the Brett Bros pay for any Avista stadium renovations. Wonder why you gotta pay $3.50 for 7 ounces of peanuts, or any other of the empty-your-pocket-please prices? It's cause that's in the contract that our county commissioners signed with the Brett Bros that says no outside food allowed. Typical sports team owners: Socialize the costs and privatize the profits.

Trains on Time, Not Really: "Mussolini at least made the trains run on time" Technically true, but he didn't do it by improving anything like the track or the signals. He did it by lengthening the scheduled time until it was longer than the time that the late trains had been making. In other words, he cheated. Sorry about Mr/Ms Low Self-Esteem.

Only with Nukes: Mitt Romney understates the case when he says that American cheerleaders for Vladimir Putin are "almost treasonous." He's speaking of Donald Trump and his sycophants. And they are not treason-adjacent or even treason-questioning/curious. They are traitors. Trump's disparagement of NATO, bad-mouthing of his own intelligence agencies, his making military aid to Ukraine conditional upon "digging up dirt on political opponents"...all of this empowered Putin and is making Europe look like 1938 — only with nukes.

Question of the Week: Will large numbers of Boogerloo Boobs, Proud of Stupid Boys, Oaf Creepers, and 3PissAnters volunteer to fight the Russians in Ukraine? Answer: Not in a gazillion years! The Russians would shoot back, and we can't have that, can we? ♦

2022 Queer Art Walk @ Spokane

Mondays-Fridays. Continues through June 30
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