I Saw You

Week of January 19th

Mountain rescue From this lonesome valley your mountain fortress has an aura of illusion. I know you're real I have seen and connected with you. I'm off balance and a little lost. Could it be I'm looking down? Am your mountain fortress? This road is very bumpy for two legacies. It would be so much better traveled in one.

A Very Ultra-Successful 2017? Nico and Joey, it is 2017 now. When will the next Ultra-Successful podcast episode be released? Sincerely, your anxiously awaiting listeners #NotBrad #NotKyle #MaybeNigel

Far Sighted Yippies Cheers to the Youth International Party who saw the future of American politics in 1968 when they nominated Pigasus the Immortal as their candidate for President of the United States. Now forty-eight years later, their vision has been realized with the election of a pig to the presidency.

ALMOST A TIE Tom Green vs. Pauly Shore: who won, what's next? The Comedy Store in Hollywood is worth a trip to L.A. if that's all one did. The best of the best grace the stage... some famous, others unknown, and many forever forgotten. Many may know Tom Green performed here in Spokane. As a mega-fan, I was going to drive to Salt Lake to see him on his last tour but I just couldn't make the trip. When I found out that he would be in Spokane, I was in shock [thank you Inlander!]. They are both single men, so I have very little respect for either of them in that regard. I'm assuming they live off the land so to speak & the odds that the right girl hasn't come along is a function of immature will; not a product of circumstance, or fate. To end this circumlocutory hypothetical, I'll give the edge to Pauly Shore. Being in the City of Angels, surrounded by stylish people in the crowd who could be movie stars in their own right, and never knowing what was going to happen next on stage was addictive. That being said, Mr. Green made the most of the resources he had. My contest is really between two bad-a** + gritty artists... one with a complete oil set and a canvas, and another with sidewalk chalk. So my comparison isn't quite fair. Both men are and were phenomenal, creative and entertaining... the times of my life. Cheers!

January 20th Inauguration of Donald Trump! That Friday I'll be driving north then south on Division with my large pickup that cheated on the Clean Air Act emission standards. You'll notice my pickup by having a large American flag planted in the pickup's bed. It will stand out since the flag will be positioned upside down.

"JJ" Spokane Street Dept Snow Berm-Buster Finally getting our Comstock neighborhood streets plowed last night after 5 days of surfing deep snow ruts without the ground clearance of a 4x4 or SUV was great. Coming out early to see a considerable berm of freshly-plowed snow and ice impervious to traditional snow shovels was not so great. At 9:00 am you rolled up out front on Jefferson Dr as I and my neighbors set about digging out our driveway entrances. Your gracious offer to use the blade of your City of Spokane plow/de-icer tanker to do it for us was very much appreciated and goes a long way to repair any misgivings we've had about timely snow plowing by our city street dept. We couldn't believe our good fortune. A small courtesy on your part had a huge impact. Thank You Very Much. Mark Serbousek should give you a raise in pay. At the very least, your employee file should radiate our collective gratitude at your next dept evaluation.

Welcome home son I find that each day we grow closer to each other and I would not change this for anything. You continue to make me a better man, a better person and a better father. Man have you taught me patience! Basically, we live in your world : ) I just want to welcome you back to Spokane, your forever place if this is what you chose in life. Mom and I found you a beautiful home with many great places to play and a nice backyard for you to run around. We love you very much Baby H, you are the most amazing little guy. Here's to many years of happiness in your new home. We love you little guy, now go play :) Dad

Thanks to Rescuers Grateful to the five people who cared enough to help me when my car slid in an icy intersection northbound on Lidgerwood near Northtown on Friday the 13th. Your pushing and digging helped me get out of a snow/ice berm. Don't know your names and you don't know mine, but if you read this you know who you are. Bless you a thousand times!

Good Deed For A Disabled Veteran Cheers to the gentleman who stopped by my aunt and uncle's house to dig out the snow berm blocking their driveway. My aunt is out of town visiting her daughter in Arizona and my uncle (Retired Col. US Army) is now living at the Spokane Veterans House due to a neurological disorder called Multiple System Atrophy. The young man they hired to deal with the snow bailed on them, so I (their nephew) volunteered to deal with the remaining removal before the weather warms up. Much to my surprise you were just finishing up digging out the plow berm when I arrived Sunday afternoon. You told me that you lived in the neighborhood and that my uncle had helped you out in the past. I commend and thank you for braving the frigid temperatures and taking time from your Sunday to perform such a laborious task for a couple in need. You saved me a lot of time and energy too, I will be sure to pay it forward!

Hello Batman Time to enter the batcave and get warm. Your birthday present awaits. Planning for that trip to Cancun with you as my escort. Get your suitcase packed. Waiting patiently. Loving you always and forever.

Cruelty to Kittens Jeers to whomever dumped three, six-week-old kittens on our land. The nighttime lows are appalling. May the scum who abandoned the poor little tabbies find him/herself without shelter in such cold.

South Hill Brat To the strange self-righteous woman trying to pick a fight with me outside of Ross, I would normally pay someone like you no mind, however whatever comment you were targeting at my 13-month-old daughter before I closed the car door makes you the scrum of the earth. Don't do that to others, it's just plain nasty. Praying for you and your bloated sense of self-importance. Sincerely, Momma Bear

Texting While Driving: Not Just YOU Jeers to the mother (I'll assume she was a mother) in the white Subaru with a firefighter's license plate driving up Stevens (turns into Bernard) on the South Hill on a Saturday (1/13/16) afternoon with two kids in the back of your Subaru. You were texting while driving. How selfish of you to do so while you had your kids in the back of your car. I was in the car in the back seat next to you. There were also cars in front of and behind you. Just know that IT CAN WAIT. To the rest of Spokane who texts and drives, please stop.

Re: Some things are better kept to yourself Not all wet/hacking coughs are due to flu or viruses. You should be aware of that. My cousin is highly allergic and very sensitive to fragrances, and for some reason, every woman seems to overdose on their perfume. (Men don't seem to do this with their cologne). If one of those oversaturated women sit next to him on the bus, he will go into a coughing AND sneezing spell. It has absolutely nothing to do with being ill; just allergic. Fortunately, he's almost got enough saved up to buy a car so he won't have to put up with those who wear too much perfume. Just for future reference, someone could just be allergic to fragrances; not have the flu. Be sure you know the full story before making comments to such person. ♦

Present Laughter @ Spokane Civic Theatre

Thursdays-Sundays. Continues through Feb. 2
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