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Opening Films 

by Inlander Staff & r & Cheaper by the Dozen 2 -- Now cheaper, with more dozens! You'll cry as you watch another little piece of Steve Martin's (and Eugene Levy's) comedy magic chip off and die in this formulaic sequel filled with kids, physical comedy, kids and, well ... kids. While Martin and Levy engage in a competition to see whose family is the best (seeing as how they seem to be neck and neck in the breeding department), ask yourself: Is this the same man who wrote The Underpants and Picasso at the Lapine Agile? Rated PG

Fun With Dick and Jane -- What do you do when the company you work for turns out to be run by a bunch of criminals? Newly unemployed Jim Carrey decides to join the fun, and turns to a life of crime to maintain his little slice of the American Dream. Yet another remake (this time of the mid-1970s film starring Jane Fonda and George Segal), this one also stars Tea Leoni and Angie Harmon. Rated PG-13

Memoirs of a Geisha -- Ziyi Zhang is like China's Hansel, so hot right now. Her first-ever English-speaking lead role (Rush Hour 2 doesn't count) will be that of a gorgeous, blue-eyed geisha. The plot swirls around the search for love amidst a culture built on lust and Japan's changing identity against the backdrop of World War II. Co-starring a magnificent pan-Asian cast including Michelle Yeo (Crouching Tiger) and Ken Watanabe (Batman Begins). Director Rob Marshall (Chicago) can shoot one hell of a musical number. (LB) Rated PG-13

Munich -- Quite the follow-up for Steven Spielberg after War of the Worlds earlier this year. Based on the George Jonas book Vengeance, with a script by Tony Kushner, this gripping film tells of what happened after the murder of Israeli athletes by Palestinian terrorists at the 1972 Olympics. Eric Bana (Hulk) plays the leader of the Israeli Secret Service agents who are thrown together to hunt down the assassins. Spielberg at his serious best. (ES) Rated R

The Producers -- Why would anybody want to remake Mel Brooks' ingenious 1967 film about two shady Broadway producers who hope to strike it rich by putting on the worst play ever -- the crazy musical Springtime for Hitler? The original had Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder as producers Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom. The 2005 movie has Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick. Yawn. Ah, but the remake has Uma Thurman redefining the term "voluptuous," and Will Ferrell as the cracked playwright Franz Liebkind. Nuff said. Rated PG-13; Opens Christmas Day

The Ringer -- It was bound to happen: Johnny Knoxville has met up with the Farrelly brothers. Hitless since Me Myself and Irene and good-movie-less since Something About Mary, the Farrelly brothers have realized they don't have to direct a film to run it into the ground -- they just have to produce it. So they've let Barry Blaustein take the reins. Knoxville plays a guy who gets recruited to zazz up the Special Olympics. Like all other sports, they need a superstar athlete to help market it. Johnny just has to pretend to be handicapped. If I may prognosticate: It's going to start with a lot of jokes about "retards" then end with a syrupy-sweet everyone's-special-in-their-own-way type message. (LB) Rated R

Rumour Has It -- A great idea -- a worrisome woman (Jennifer Aniston) discovers that her late mother and her grandmother (Shirley MacLaine) were the character models for The Graduate, then tries to track down the guy (Kevin Costner) who the book/movie's "hero" was based on -- falls victim to some bad writing. The acting is good, though Aniston comes across as an unsympathetic dummy. And for a comedy, you feel awfully bad about what she does to her wonderful boyfriend (Mark Ruffalo). Mixed messages galore. (ES) Rated PG-13; Opens Christmas Day

Wolf Creek -- Though it's a little weird to open a horror movie on Christmas Day, this one's been getting dazzling pre-screen press. It begins as one of those idyllic little road movies wherein a group of friends lounge on beaches, make out with each other and whatnot. When their car fails to start, though, and they get a tow from some locals, things take a turn for the deadly. Rated R; Opens Christmas Day

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