click to enlarge Tina and Amy are an obvious choice.
Tina and Amy are an obvious choice.

It happened in a matter of days. Comedian Kevin Hart was announced as the host of the 2019 Oscars. A string of homophobic tweets resurfaced. Hart refused to apologize and stepped down.

It's a mess, and as of now, no replacement's been announced. The Oscars air Feb. 24, so there's still time for the Academy. A few options:

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler. A no-brainer. With their willingness to take seemingly untouchable Hollywood luminaries down a notch in their blistering monologues, they've single-handedly made the Golden Globes worth watching in the past.

John Legend & Chrissy Teigen. They've already got hosting experience, having starred in their own (pretty good) Christmas special last year. Plus they're super funny, and easy to look at.

Maya Rudolph & Tiffany Haddish. This pairing caught everyone's attention when they presented at the Oscars last year, coming out on stage with their high heels in hand. Haddish can work a room, and Rudolph has the musical comedy chops; they'd be a dynamic duo.

Lin-Manuel Miranda. The Hamilton creator and star has made his transition to Hollywood, having snagged Oscar and Golden Globe nominations in the last couple years. And you know his requisite musical interludes wouldn't be tedious.

Tilda Swinton in various disguises. An Oscar winner in 2008, Swinton is one of the most chameleonic actors of recent years. Perhaps the makeup department could make her appear older as the ceremony goes on, a cutting commentary on how damn long the show is.

Olivia Colman, Emma Stone & Rachel Weisz. The trio at the center of Oscar hopeful The Favourite have such great chemistry on screen, and based on their interviews, it isn't just acting. They're all brilliant and effortlessly charming.

John Oliver. The Daily Show alum's HBO show Last Week Tonight is smart, funny and employs actual journalism, and he has an amiable goofiness about him. A Hollywood outsider always makes things more fun, too.

Nick Kroll & John Mulaney. The comedians have hosted the Independent Spirit Awards, and their opening monologues are always hilarious. Maybe it's time to give them a promotion.

The old-school varsity team. Call up Billy Crystal, Steve Martin, Whoopi Goldberg, Ellen DeGeneres, Jon Stewart, Chris Rock and Jimmy Kimmel and just let them crowd each other off the stage.

Nobody. So it turns out that hosting the Oscars isn't exactly the dream gig we all thought it was. If there's no host and all the jokes come courtesy of the presenters in between the big moments, will anyone notice nobody's steering the ship? ♦

Makoto Fujimura: Silence – Mysterion @ Jundt Art Museum

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About The Author

Nathan Weinbender

Nathan Weinbender is the Inlander's Music & Film editor. He is also a film critic for Spokane Public Radio, where he has co-hosted the weekly film review show Movies 101 since 2011.