Scouting Report

Our favorites out of nearly 7,000 Hoopfest team names? Here are 35 matchups we'd like to see.

Picked Last in Gym vs. Body by Nintendo

Ewoks vs. Family Out of Shape

My Boogers Are Spicy vs. Drenched in Soy Sauce

Elite Unicorn Ninjas vs. Cow Pie Chuckers

So Disrespectful vs. Oh, Snap

Sir Crampalots vs. Prosthetic Hipz

Phat Pharmers vs. Will Lose for Beer

Couch’s Disciples vs. Window Lickers

Inglorious Ballers vs. Leapless in Spokane

We Miss Free Throws vs. The Uncoachables

Four Guys, Ten Chins vs. Five-Ten With Girth

One-Inch Vertical vs. I Wish I Was Taller

Wake the Residents vs. People Under the Stairs

Hairy Toenails vs. Armpit Juice

Laydowns Not Layups vs. Them, Cuz We Are Bad

Gluten-Free Muffins vs. Evil Pop Tarts

Moms Think We’re Good vs. One-Man Wolf Pack

Chicks Dig Mustaches vs. Expelliarmus

Kung Pao Gasol vs. Swishalicious

Socially Awkward vs. Pants on the Ground

Musk Apes vs. Human Beings

Lluvia Fabricantes vs. Lex Talionis

Skull Drillers vs. Unicorns of Death

Rogue Centaurs vs.

Release the Krakens

Skyrockets in Flight vs.

Upper Thigh Guys

Chaotic Sweathogs vs.


Def Leprechauns vs. Hobo Huggers

Few’s Unsigned Heroes vs. Richard Simmons Four

I Got Worms vs.

Bring Out Your Dead

O’Doherty Flashbacks vs.

Stateline Aftermath

Hebrews and Shebrews vs.

Willie Nelson Mandela

Tutu Tough vs. Rest on D

Hurt Blockers vs. Dunkarrhea

Hoop Parted vs.

Courtesy Flush

Operator Error vs. Enter Team Name Here

53rd Annual Art on the Green @ North Idaho College

Fri., July 30, 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Sat., July 31, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. and Sun., Aug. 1, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.
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About The Author

Michael Bowen

Michael Bowen is a former senior writer for The Inlander and a respected local theater critic. He also covers literature, jazz and classical music, and art, among other things.