Trail Mix

by TED S. McGREGOR JR. & r & & r & Bi-Enfranchised & r & & r & Remember how we told you Washington's primary/caucus system had to be the most confusing in the nation? We might have to take that back, now that news reports are coming in about how the Lone Star State's Democrats handle picking their presidential candidate.





"This is the only place in America," joked former president Bill Clinton in Galveston last week, "where you can vote twice without going to jail."





That's right -- after the polls close on March 4, the caucuses start. Voters can participate in both, and Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are asking their supporters to vote twice. Somehow Texas will figure out a way to allocate 228 Democratic delegates on Tuesday.





Final Stand


In what may be Hillary Clinton's final days -- or finest moment, if a comeback is in the offing -- she's pulling out all the stops. One campaign staffer told the New York Times they'd be throwing the "kitchen sink" at Barack Obama, so there should be plenty of fireworks leading up to the pivotal votes on March 4.





On the Other Hand


Estimates say that only about 10 percent of people are southpaws, but since 1974, two-thirds of our presidents have been. Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George Herbert Walker Bush and Bill Clinton -- all lefties. And it looks like that percentage is about to go up again, as Barack Obama and John McCain both lean to the left. (But then, McCain's critics on the right already suspected that.)





It wasn't that long ago that being left-handed was considered freakish, and if you grew up in the early part of the 20th century, your school's headmaster probably would have tried to break you of the affliction. Being left-handed was even illegal in Albania. (Those damn anti-leftites!)





But recent research suggests left-handers may tap more of their brains than your average right-handed dullard. And when you consider the list o' lefties (compiled by Indiana University), you may want to start learning to write with the other hand: Julius Caesar, Charlemagne, Michelangelo, da Vinci, Ben Franklin, Jay Leno, Oprah, Jim Hendrix, Paul McCartney. It's a pretty impressive list.





If that kitchen sink thing doesn't work out, maybe Hillary Clinton could point out that her campaign is being sabotaged by a vast left-wing conspiracy.