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by Inlander Staff & r & & r & Such Irritating LightsYou've seen those flashing lights around school zones -- some of them are even embedded in the pavement. But you're late to work, and you're juggling a latte and cell phone, and do you really need to slow down that much?

& r & You do. First reason: The ticket for speeding in a school zone is $177. And judges can't waive or reduce it. And there are better reasons. When school kids are hit by a car going 20 mph, 80 percent survive. When school kids are hit by a car going 25 to 30 mph, 90 percent die. And those flashing lights? They slow down drivers in school zones by an average of 5 to 7 mph.

Replacing Patty Duke & r &

"Due to unforeseen circumstances," Patty Duke will not appear in the Actors Rep production of Together Again for the First Time (opening Nov. 24). ARt has been working hard to attract actresses to fill the role of Audrey (a Martha Stewart-wannabe and matriarch of a dysfunctional family); an announcement about who will fill which role(s) will be made within two weeks. & r &

Terror Level: Blazing Magenta & r &

Sometimes fake-news satire makes assertions about what we take to be the real news. Consider this: "At New York's JFK Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule & r &

and a calculator. Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction." & r &

No Brickbats, Please & r &

With 16,000 alumni of Rogers High School having been contacted about contributing, and only 3,100 bricks planned for the Wall of Remembrance in Rogers' renovated Pirates' Cove courtyard, there's going to be some fierce competition concerning who gets to engrave which bricks. At $50 a pop, that's sweet news for various fund-raising and scholarship programs at Rogers. Write [email protected] or call 487-5968. & r &

Cartographers Are Coming! & r &

Hydrographers, too. (And those boys know how to party.) You'll know it because through Friday, Sept. 15, in downtown storefronts, you're going to see displays of large maps celebrating the arrival of most of the Northwest's experts on Geographic Information Systems for a conference at the DoubleTree Hotel. Jack Nisbet gave the keynote on Wednesday (on two centuries of mapmaking, of course) and on Friday from 8:30-10 am, you'll be able to hear Alan Durning discuss seven criteria for measuring the Northwest's economic and environmental progress. Call 477-7485. & r &

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