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It's All in a Name 

Hoopfest squads call themselves the darndest things

click to enlarge Hoopfest’s tradtion of goofy team names could result in an Angry Nirds vs. Blue Prancing Ninjas matchup. - JIM CAMPBELL ILLUSTRATION
  • Jim Campbell Illustration
  • Hoopfest’s tradtion of goofy team names could result in an Angry Nirds vs. Blue Prancing Ninjas matchup.

The object of Hoopfest, of course, is to win games. Well, and to have fun, too. But there’s a secondary, less-discussed contest underway and that’s the battle to have the most creative (or funniest, grossest, most macho) team name in the field.

We’ve gone through the more than 7,000 teams entered in this year’s tournament and handpicked a few of the more amusing titles and handed out some not-soofficial awards to those who went the extra mile. If your squad is not on the list, we’re sorry. You’ll have to turn your attention to the actual basketball. 

Best Potential Matchup
This Better Be Fun vs This is Not for Fun

Best Emo Band Name
Tears of a Gypsy

Best Beverage Suggestion
Beer Flavor Gatorade

Best Display of Immaturity
Watch R Balls Bounce

Best Gangster-Derived Name
Ankle Bustas or Arthritic Mafia

Best M.F.-ing Name
Samuel L. Jackson

Best Pretend Animal
Lazer Wolves

Best Honesty
I Need a Breather
Runner Up:
I’m Fat and Slow

Best Use of One Word

Best Dressed
Bad in Plaid

Best Low Blow
Shawn Kemp’s Kids

Best Finesse
Blue Prancing Ninjas

Best Word Play
The Angry Nirds

Best Illicit Drug Reference
Trippin’ Balls

The: “Try Again Next Year” Award Goes To...

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