Rejected!

by Cole Smithey & r & & r & & lt;span class= "dropcap " & S & lt;/span & teve Pink's directorial debut (he was the screenwriter on John Cusack's great black comedy Grosse Pointe Blank) is a slight but punchy comedy of college-aged misfits that starts out strong before slipping down a greasy narrative slope into a dull third act that undermines most of the preceding laughter. High school senior Bartleby (the squeaky-clean kid from the Mac commercials, Justin Long) is a clever guy whose marginal grades provoke rejection letters from every college he applies to. Desperate for validation and approval from his dismissive parents (Ann Cusack and Mark Derwin) Bartleby brainstorms into existence a phony Ohio college that accepts him as a student. Bartleby's increasingly ambitious college hoax necessitates that he and his fellow college-reject pals lease and renovate a disused mental hospital to house the "South Harmon Institute of Technology," which he presents as a "sister college" to the actual Harmon College a few blocks away. A glitch in the bogus college's Web site unexpectedly attracts a hoard of slackers who install themselves in the dorm-only campus. What started out as a fa & ccedil;ade for learning becomes an alternative education hub with a swimming pool and a skateboard half-pipe where the curriculum is devised and taught by the students.


Because mainstream American counterculture movies have barely existed for the past 20 years or more, Accepted comes with a desperate gasp for oxygen. The comic foundation is sound, but the film's execution stumbles because screenwriters Adam Cooper, Bill Collage and Mark Perez don't link enough witty dialogue to the film's spastic tone. The decision to cast novice actors also contributes to the failure of the production.


Jerry Zucker's Rock 'n Roll High School (1979) is a good example of a similarly themed movie that turned the rebellion of academic underachievers into comic and musical wealth, thanks in part to that venerable punk band the Ramones. There's an inspired moment in Accepted when Bartleby jumps on stage with a band at a blowout party to take over singing duties for a version of the Ramones' anthem "Blitzkrieg Bop," euphorically singing the famous lines, "They're forming in a straight line / They're going through a tight wind / The kids are losing their minds / Blitzkrieg Bop." It's a high point that connects the pent-up frustration of lost generations of college exiles to the underlying anger of the comedy.


Uncle Ben (Lewis Black of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart) steals the movie as a fiercely blunt anti-authoritarian social renegade whom Bartleby enlists as the dean and sole faculty member of South Harmon Institute. Ben speaks the film's primary theme line when he says, "What is learning? It's paying attention. It's opening yourself up to this great big ball of & amp;%$@ that we call life." Ben is the eccentric uncle of Bartleby's best friend Sherman (Jonah Hill) who suffers humiliating hazing rituals at the fraternity of his father and grandfather at the authentic Harmon College. Sherman takes the brunt of the most jokes, but we never get enough of his personality to embrace him as the protagonist's alter ego.


Accepted falls short of its zany goal because it doesn't relate the relationships of its characters to their kooky behaviors. Bartleby's crony "Hands" (Columbus Short) was a star high school football player before an injury sidelined him into creating African-inspired sculptures with surprisingly enormous phalluses. The art pieces are amusing by themselves, but how do they reflect the seemingly creative mind of their designer? It's just one example of how the story and its characters are kept in hermetic bubbles of comic potential that are never popped. After creating a complicated fib, Bartleby finds his true calling when South Harmon Institute of Technology is accredited by the city. It's a happy moment that just isn't very funny.





Accepted; Rated PG-13; Directed by Steve Pink; Starring Justin Long, Adam Herschman, Lewis Black