Take Two

by Luke Baumgarten & r & & r & Imagine Me and You & r & & r & To: Sony Pictures Classics & r & CC: IT Department, Casting Director Bot & r & From: Luke Baumgarten & r & RE: Your Random Romantic Comedy Plot Generator





& lt;span class= "dropcap " & W & lt;/span & e need to talk about kinks in the semi-random romantic comedy plot generator. I'm sure it's cheaper than hiring writers, and it's way easier than dealing with their artsy pretensions. Granted, it's a big improvement over its utterly random predecessor, but there are still a few serious problems. I'm sure that, when you green-lit that Imagine Me and You flick, it seemed fine at the time -- but upon screening the thing, it's apparent that the film was written by a machine. I suggest you take the following under consideration when revising your code:


& lt;ul & & lt;li & Lesbian intent is obvious within five minutes -- computer needs to build to this. Lesbianism is really hot right now and should be exploited, but knowing the presumably straight chick Rachel (Piper Perabo) will flip bi-curious by the opening scene blows the load way too quick. Doesn't allow for tension to build. Also detracts from the dynamics of her hetero relationship. & lt;/li & & lt;li & The improbability of the park meet-up with the gay dudes having a clandestine shag is made all the more improbable because Heck (Matthew Good) and Rachel stop to converse with the two. Half naked and whatnot. & lt;/li & & lt;li & The emphasis on the two women diminishes the very real struggle Heck is going through. Even though these ladies are finding themselves, and Sony Pictures Classics seems institutionally committed to supporting the GLBTQ lifestyle, it is still, after all, adultery -- which is inconsiderate and bad and painful. Heck is a really nice guy; we really feel for him. Unfortunately the script does not. This creates a serious disconnect. & lt;/li & & lt;li & Then, given the very obvious pains Heck has gone through to figure out the alienation of Rachel's affection, the way he chooses to resolve the whole situation is utterly unbelievable. Prior to this, Heck had been the only remotely believable character and Goode had given the only decent performance. & lt;/li & & lt;li & The everyone-will-be-happy-in-the-end montage that runs with the closing credits is a cheap way to resolve the callousness of the script and alleviate the residual guilt we feel for Heck and his cuckoldry. Sappy and just-so, it doesn't work at all. & lt;/li & & lt;/ul &


& lt;ul & & lt;li & Lesbian intent is obvious within five minutes -- computer needs to build to this. Lesbianism is really hot right now and should be exploited, but knowing the presumably straight chick Rachel (Piper Perabo) will flip bi-curious by the opening scene blows the load way too quick. Doesn't allow for tension to build. Also detracts from the dynamics of her hetero relationship. & lt;/li & & lt;li & The improbability of the park meet-up with the gay dudes having a clandestine shag is made all the more improbable because Heck (Matthew Good) and Rachel stop to converse with the two. Half naked and whatnot. & lt;/li & & lt;li & The emphasis on the two women diminishes the very real struggle Heck is going through. Even though these ladies are finding themselves, and Sony Pictures Classics seems institutionally committed to supporting the GLBTQ lifestyle, it is still, after all, adultery -- which is inconsiderate and bad and painful. Heck is a really nice guy; we really feel for him. Unfortunately the script does not. This creates a serious disconnect. & lt;/li & & lt;li & Then, given the very obvious pains Heck has gone through to figure out the alienation of Rachel's affection, the way he chooses to resolve the whole situation is utterly unbelievable. Prior to this, Heck had been the only remotely believable character and Goode had given the only decent performance. & lt;/li & & lt;li & The everyone-will-be-happy-in-the-end montage that runs with the closing credits is a cheap way to resolve the callousness of the script and alleviate the residual guilt we feel for Heck and his cuckoldry. Sappy and just-so, it doesn't work at all. & lt;/li & & lt;/ul &


Other things that bug me, but that aren't your fault (will cc Casting Director Bot 5000):


& lt;ul & & lt;li & Jerseyite Piper Perabo -- not such a good actress in the first place -- isn't convincing either as a Brit or as a lesbian. Asking her to play both simultaneously is cruel. & lt;/li & & lt;li & Perabo and Luce (Lena Headly) have less chemistry than a rural Southern school district. Not only are both actresses straight -- and have a hard time playing gay -- it's pretty obvious that, even if curious, they wouldn't find each other attractive. Not even in college, not after reading Adrienne Rich, not tripping on MDMA, never. & lt;/li & & lt;/ul &