TRAILER THURSDAY: Robert Pattinson Tyler Perry Death Match edition

Robert Pattinson's new movie, Water For Elephants, is getting reviews laced with adjectives so negative that they're usually held in reserve for Tyler Perry films. With Perry also releasing a film this week, those stores of negative descriptors are going to run very, very low. (I'm not saying there's going to be a deathmatch, by the way, I'm saying there should be one.)

AFRICAN CATS
The folks at Disneynature have come up with their first solid offering that tells the stories of two cat families in Kenya: an aging mother lion and her daughter, and a lone cheetah trying to teach the ways of life to her five cubs. Cameras catch the action from every conceivable angle, and the film is wonderfully edited to keep the separate stories equally compelling. There’s humor and sadness and great danger. But the filmmakers keep the violence of nature completely bloodless, so the film works fine for all ages. (ES) Rated G | SHOWTIMES

BACK TO THE GARDEN
The hippies were right about some stuff. Not all things, but some things. Filmmaker Kevin Tomlinson stumbled on a group of hippies in the backcountry of Eastern Washington in 1988 and decided to film them, asking about their eco-friendly, flower child lifestyles (which was totally not cool to do back in 1988). Twenty years later, he found his subjects again and asked how their lives had changed. Combining the footage from 1988 and present day, Tomlinson has created a documentary that is impressively real and gives an honest glimpse into the struggles and merits of a sustainable lifestyle and hippie culture. (TH) Magic Lantern only. Not rated  | SHOWTIMES

BLANK CITY
A documentary about the underground film scene that sprouted on New York City’s Lower East Side in the late ’70s and early ’80s, featuring film and archival footage from the era and talking-head interviews with the likes of Steve Buscemi, John Waters, Jim Jarmusch and Debby Harry. (LB) Magic Lantern only. Not Rated  | SHOWTIMES

JANE EYRE
Did you know that this movie has been made no less than 15 times, not counting this newest version? And that the original novel has also given rise to nine musicals, 10 television adaptations and one graphic novel? The story of Jane Eyre — the lowly governess who falls in love with her employer and subsequently faces mysterious happenings while working at his mansion — clearly is begging to be told again, and apparently the newest movie is the most fantastic rendition yet. Lucky number 16! (TH) Rated PG-13 | SHOWTIMES

MADEA’S BIG HAPPY FAMILY
There have been, like, six of these movies where Tyler Perry dresses up as a sassy black woman named Madea and deals with comedic family drama. SIX. OF. THEM. If he didn’t run out of ideas before, he certainly has now, evidenced by a Maury Povich cameo and a scene where Madea runs her car into a fast food joint. And that was just in the trailer. This is basically the Ernest series with more sass and fat costumes. (TH) Rated PG-13 | SHOWTIMES

MIRAL
Frieda Pinto stars in this Julian Schnabel drama about a young girl who is raised within the sheltering walls of a school for Palestinian orphans in Jerusalem. When she turns 17, though, around the time of the first intifada, she is exposed to the horrific conditions Palestinians are living in and the violence that surrounds them, which makes her question the tenets of the school, which teach that peace and equality is achievable through education and tolerance. (LB) Magic Lantern only. Rated PG-13 | SHOWTIMES

THE UPSETTER: THE LIFE AND MUSIC OF LEE SCRATCH PERRY
It has been 42 years since Lee “Scratch” Perry released his first album, The Upsetter. Since then, he has released 65 more. Filmmakers Adam Bhala Lough and Ethan Higbee got unfettered access to the reggae icon, who speaks in ramblingly mystical puzzle sentences. Benicio Del Toro narrates this chronicle on the life of a prolific dub pioneer, Rastaman and frequent asshole. (LB) Magic Lantern only. Not Rated | SHOWTIMES

WATER FOR ELEPHANTS
Robert Pattinson is in this movie. He is sad. He drops out of vet school after his parents die and joins the circus as a vet. He is still kinda sad. Then he sees Reese Witherspoon. He is still sad, but also maybe now a little turned on. They have some sexual tension, but she’s married. This makes him … sad. Will Robert Pattinson ever be happy? Like, in a movie? See it to find out. As an aside, Pattinson said he cried while filming the love scenes with Reese because he was so moved by how “sexy” she was. (TH) Rated PG-13 | SHOWTIMES