Criminal Mastermind

Who broke into my car on Nov. 21. I bet you were upset when you looked inside my  purse & only found receipts, makeup, perfume & breath mints. Hey guess what you f'ing genius, the wallet was in the car door. Now I know that it was my fault for leaving it in the car &  this will teach me, but frankly you'll get yours when you meet your maker. Thanks for ruining my holiday spirit.