Jeers To Myself

This comes 3 months too late. To say I wish I could go back & change things would be an understatement. There is no reason to forgive my cold behavior, I pushed you away & you left. I brought my demons from the middle east home with me & I wish more than anything that I could take that back. I miss you more than words can say & you cross my mind multiple times everyday. I love you my lil blondie & now that I can see how numb & stupid I was, I can't stand myself. You stuck with me through the deployment & were more than there when I came home, but I was checked out. 2 & a half years was not enough time with you, I wish I could wake up to you eating cereal before work in bed & hear the hmms just one more time. So a big fat JEERS to me for not having my stuff together & letting the girl I know I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with slip away. You will forever be my one & I'll always love you.