Not So Neighborly

To the constantly-arguing-outside couple - your friendly neighbors want to
inform you that everyone in the neighborhood can hear your fighting because
for some reason the two of you insist on doing it outside. We weren't sure
if you were aware of this, or if you just don't give a damn. Either way, we
all agree that it was extremely entertaining at first, but now it has
gotten very annoying. You do realize that most couples, have the majority
of their arguments inside the privacy of their own homes, right? So, we,
your neighbors, would like to ask that you either kindly take it up a notch
by throwing objects at each other, preferably sharp ones, or please refrain
from your redundant lawn arguments. Or better yet, get some jobs. Then
maybe you could spend less time fighting with each other. Sincerely, Your
Friendly Neighbors.