MORNING BRIEFING: Republicans versus Democrats, NASCAR versus Obama

Headlines

From dung repository to wetland: Cowpokes, treehuggers and bureaucrats team up to save a creek! (SR) 

If you shoot someone, don't expect help from koi. (KXLY) 

You think your cellphone's a waste of money? Try blowing $500,000 on your phone! Wait... taxpayers paid for that?! (SR) 

Out There

Democrats and Republicans fail to pull their heads out — of the sand and other places — to reach a bipartisan budget cut deal. Now, as per their previous agreement, an across-the-board cut is triggered. Way to work together! (NYT) 

So it turns out you can't just pepper spray people sitting peacefully on the ground. Who knew? (AP) 

In other obvious news, Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich tells Occupiers to "take a bath." We assume he means a financial bath, like the soothing one he took care of Fannie and Freddie Mac, when he made millions and millions lobbying for them. (Reuters) 

And finally, First Lady Michelle Obama gets boo-ed by NASCAR fans: