I Saw You

Week of July 15


Black person at liberal church: Pre-Covid, I saw you after the Sunday service standing in the social hall with no one within 10 feet of you. I could say I was in a hurry, or I could blame my lousy hearing, but really I was anxious about what to say to you, having almost no experience in life or in this church. So, I passed you by and have regretted that little sin ever since. I hope someone did make some friendly chatter. And my apologies for not personally welcoming you in.

Listening to Taylor Swift @ Bigfoot: You came up to me at the Bigfoot during the live music and told me you liked the music I picked from the jukebox before the band started playing. You were cute, and I should've asked for your number. If you are interested in getting a drink, email me welcometothebigfoot@gmail.com. You had a beard. I had pink hair.

Arbor Crest brunette: As soon as I saw you at Arbor Crest on July 11, I was stunned by your beauty — you: attractive, long beautiful brunette hair. We passed each other a few times with smiles...me: tall, deep tanned with athletic build...who are you? Hope to see you again soon

Our orbits kept intersecting in Riverfront Park Sunday morning: You were in the Kona hat and the orange tank top; I was the guy in the green Sounders shirt and the blue cap. I don't know about you, but I was on a random ramble through the park. We kept smiling and saying hello to each other; perhaps we should walk together sometime. Maybe I'll try again next Sunday.

Still thinking about our brief encounter: I saw you at Wal-Mart the one on Sprague. We both comment on our good-looking appearance. You were looking marvelous in the dress or the dress was looking marvelous on you, but I am still thinking about that moment. I was so taken away by your total beauty (I wish I could have seen your eyes hiding behind stylish sunglasses) that I paid your bill. I hope you see this and respond; I want to continue our encounter.


Hit with a coconut: You saw me cooking dinner, and the strangest thing happened. A coconut bonked you on the noggin, and suddenly a sensational truth came to you. We loved each other. We can be really happy together. I still have the coconut you gave me after that night. I still love you, doubly so since then. Nikita, I want you to marry me, will ya? -C

6/26/21, Ace hardware parking lot: You were very pretty with a great smile, and you drove a red Toyota Corolla (I think.) You came out of Ace hardware at Sullivan and Sprague on Saturday 6/26 as I was getting out of my truck, and you said, "Sorry I didn't park so well with the lines," and I said, "It's OK; they're only lines." I should have asked you out on the spot, but I did not.


Good karma! Cheers to the person who turned in the $60 cashback left in the self-checkout machine on 6/30 at the Albertsons on 57th Ave. You made our night when we returned to find it there. Selfless people still exist! We'll make sure and pass it on.

I am going to miss you: Codie, you have been an amazing friend and went out of your way to pull me out of my glum. Its been a rough few months, and having you to talk to and laugh with has made it alright to cope with. You are a ray of sunshine in the darkness. You have treated me better than any friend in a while. Thank you for seeing me as a person with struggles who just needed a little support. Oh and thanks for the awesome bra.

Your kindness will keep me rolling: Thanks to the super cool old guy that pulled up to Sportsmans Warhouse to check on me when I popped the hood of my red '84 vette. I've had my old death wagon blow hoses, die, and catch fire mid-drive! Before now no one has ever offered a hand. It's amazing you offered to use your AAA membership for me, that kindness is a vestige from the golden years I was born too late for. It started a minute after you walked off, but you know that, at least I got to wave goodbye right as you walked out of the store.


Re: jeers to SPD for not worrying about petty issues: You complained about SPD not doing enough about the homeless and drug problems in your neighborhood. Yet you claimed you wasted their time by making reports about cars parking in the wrong direction or people shooting up drugs. SPD has way more important things to deal with. You don't seem cut out for city living. Try Idaho?

Jeers for wasting 15 years, Mr. B: Jeers to your lies and wanting to f—- every woman you meet and wasting 15 years of my life, Mr. B. I loved you more than you deserved and worked my ASS OFF for you while you were in prison to make sure you had Everything you needed and wanted while in there and got you your job that you have now for 10 years. Then later I find out you were writing another woman and having her visit you when I couldn't.

Cold shoulder: Cool, cool, cool — or not so...Making my way downtown in a heat wave and seeing stores blasting their A/C, but propping their doors open. Really loved their reasoning: From "ADA compliance" to "we're a private business (??), we can do what we want." I suppose I can also do what I want, which is try to publicly shame your businesses' selfish choices and shop at less contrived and more independent stores.

Civilian fireworks violators! So, you can afford a $500+ fine for shooting off fireworks? The noise into all hours of the wee mornings around the 4th. Ever hear of fire danger & injuries? What about terrorizing the animals & vets? Pay for your own injuries at the ER. Not the insurance co's. Ban all civilian fireworks & leave fireworks to the pros or watch on TV!

Shut your engine off: Jeers to the jackasses who leave their engines running all the time. I shopped for 45 minutes at the Hillyard Safeway, and the entire time a big truck sat next to my car with its engine running. Shut the engine off, and go sit in the shaded grass. Don't be a menace to the planet.

Illegal trail building: Over the past year, there has been a significant increase in the number of trail users. Overall, people are respectful of our precious natural areas. However, over the past year there have been many illegal trails constructed in the Indian Canyon and Palisades natural areas. The major concerns of illegal trails are the following: 1) Trails need to be approved by the governing agency per RCW 47.30.040, in this case the City of Spokane. 2) Unapproved trails are not part of the Park Department maintenance program of the city resulting in: i. Promotion of noxious weeds; ii. Disruption of wildlife; iii. Lack of liability for use and construction. If you are involved in illegal trail building, cease and desist. Efforts to maintain and improve our natural areas is encouraged, but the efforts must be made through the proper channels. Please help support the conservation of our beautiful park for future generations by reporting illegal trail building and continuing to use and enjoy our parks. ♦