I SAW YOU
I know you saw me but did you "see" me? I saw you, and you saw me a few times, but it's been a long time. Did you see me, or was the drunken distraction of group outings too dense to actually see me? I was mad crushing...New Year's Eve I know you saw me, but ultimately we were "robbed" of anything more in our future. You've moved on, I've moved on, we are happy. This note is to thank you for your ability to pull me out of my shy demeanor and truly show me what having fun and putting the "blue spark" in college is supposed to be. I hope you saw me. Are my hints enough? You used to work for the Inlander, so I think you've got this figured out.
Short adorable punk: I saw you several times downtown at riverfront. You had on black jeans, black platformlike shoes, tanktop and black hair. You with your friend who was also quite into punk anesthetics. I had on blanat far left, anarchist/anti-capitalist slogans and images on my shirt, political theory and philosophy badges on my pack and hat, enby colored bracelets, and black pants with black pf flyers. I generally do not experience such nervousness. We made eye contact several times, and I debated saying hi, however concluded it was too late by the time your friend showed up. I did not want to be annoying. So if you want to meet an anarchopunk, a response would be a pleasant break from my vacuous life. Or just go to Facebook and search for local anarchists; you'll find me.<333
O'Donnell's cutie! You were waiting for someone who didn't arrive; I was enjoying a Guinness and the view! We chatted about the COVID restrictions finally being lifted. I was in a blue shirt and jeans, and a bad haircut! The owner chatted us up and said he was dating someone new, and I got too shy to ask you out! Happy early or late St. Pat's Day!
Short girl — Sacred Heart Doctor's Building 7/20: I got the elevator on the fifth floor. You, short girl, came from the upper floors. You asked me what floor? I said, "main floor." You said, "Good, that's where we are going." You sounded cute under your mask. You told me to "have a good day" as you got off the elevator. I said, "you too." Do you want to continue this awkwardness over coffee? Leave me a message at my Google voice — 509-720-7612 — or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Surprise flowers: Cheers to Evergreen Florist on Monroe for the most gorgeous floral arrangement I've ever seen. Also, apologies to the delivery person for my less than friendly reception. I still haven't recovered from pandemic-induced anxiety about strangers approaching my front door, even those who carry beautiful blossoms. Your flower bouquet was truly lovely.
Love of my life: Cheers to my man for being so strong and wonderful. You're so handsome with your chocolate skin and honeysuckle eyes. I miss you so much and can't wait for you to come home. Life isn't the same without you, Papa Bear!
Firefighters are heroes: A big thank you to all the firefighters from the West Plains, as well as the multiple surrounding communities and states for responding to the Andrus fire and saving our homes. I cannot put into words how thankful I am for all the hard work you are putting in this summer. You are truly heroes.
Urgent care proselytizing: Ma'am, when you're done praying to your personal savior for "every one of you all," take a moment and teach your teenage daughter that it's rude to take pictures of strangers to post online as their kill of the day, or whatever that was.
Constitutional cherry-picking sheriffs of the Inland Northwest: Dear Ozzie, am comforted to know you'll zealously enforce 3.70% of the 27 amendments to the U.S. Constitution. Immediately upon the U.N. black helicopters, or the Illuminati, or whoever showing up to confiscate my guns you'll gat a speed-dialed call from me. Oh, by the way, I too am unconcerned or unaware of the "A well regulated militia" part.
Monotone Morrison: What is with everyone backing this guy?? Sorry, but he had his season, got drafted and tanked. Then he is the "color guy" for the Zags and stinks at that, too. Hudson is so much better and Adam adds...yea that was a great pass:( Now...this Perimeter podcast is trash! Again..."yea, yea"...nothing to add! DULL, BORING and completely monotone. He needs a new gig...OFF the air.
Qathy McMorris Rodgers and her fake town hall: I was at your staged "town hall" on 08/02. You gave Spokane two days notice; however, you emailed your MAGA/Q cult and private donors weeks ago, to fill the limited seats. You raffled the questions, knowing they'd be rhetoric and lots of asspats. YOU DIDN'T: encourage vaccination and masks, or correct disinformation about The Big Lie. You spread and repeated disinformation, fan-girled Gym Jordan and MTG, and lied about wind and solar power. When I heard your rendition of HR1 and Section 230, I was floored. I was the only person in Spokane that asked you about opposing the bipartisan 1/6 commission and if you are vaccinated. I'm not the only person that finds your seditious cult insanity disgusting. The proud boys sitting behind me were truly pleased with your performance. BONUS JEERS to Dr. Velazquez, the simp who sat front row and didn't correct any of the hourlong Q-palooza. He was unmasked and quiet as a mouse. What a turd.
Boat launch etiquette: OK, it's quite apparent that kayaking and paddle boarding are increasingly popular pastimes, bringing hundreds more people to area waters. That's awesome. But with this influx comes the issue of knowing the procedure for putting your watercraft in and taking it out of a lake or river while using an official launch. There have always been people who ignore the "No Swimming / No Fishing" signs at these sites. Despite these scofflaws, they usually get the hell out of the way when I'm trying to put in or take out my small fishing boat using a boat trailer (which requires a bit of skill even without people lingering about the launch). True, some of these dullards continue swimming and fishing, letting their toddlers play within feet of my moving trailer, but they are not likely to read this, so that's that. It's you, my fellow outdoors people, who I'm addressing. The most common behavior I've dealt with is kayakers who bring their vehicle to the launch (which is fine — I get it — some people don't have the strength to carry the kayak to the water), but then basically set up their whole goddamed day right there! I'm talking bags, coolers, paddles, flotation devices, fishing gear...whatever floats their boat! People! Do that shit on the side, not ON the boat ramp when you clearly see another person waiting to put in or take out! That is incredibly inconsiderate. The launch is for launching and taking the boat out of the water — not strapping down your shit, not reminiscing on how great the day was, not eating lunch (yes, I've seen you do this too). Plan ahead, have all your gear in place, carry what you can, move quickly and safely, but GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY! ♦