I Saw You

Week of February 23rd

Over the Years We only see each other a few times a year anymore. It's probably good because I've had to mentally distance myself from you by being less friendly. And that's because after all these years, the physical tension is there every time I see you. The proverbial lust crush. I seriously don't understand why we've never gotten together. I've had wistful thoughts, that maybe your early retirement might change things, maybe missing your kids and a loss of purpose might cause you to reach out, and we'd talk like we used to. At this point I'd settle for a conversation over a glass wine so I could ask you why. Oh I know the reasons you'd give. And I'd respond that this was about us, not anyone else. Maybe I've misread you. Maybe I was making a fool out of myself being so obvious about wanting you. Maybe you've never felt the same tension, had the same thoughts, or looked at me the same as I look at you. I'm not sure I really want to know, it might be better to be left in my dreams than to know it was never possible. So why am I writing this? On the crazy thought that you might see it and know it was about us? And somehow we'd end up having that glass of wine? Only in my wildest dreams. No, I think this is my way of trying to release it and move on. And maybe one last chance at the lotto :).

Sambuca Snorider Saturday 2-11-17 @ Silver mt. You gave me a shot of Sambuca. I commented on the fact that we were both riding on the same old-school boots and bindings. Would love to return the favor and take a run with you next time you are up!

Looker at dog shop You were the handsome bearded guy wearing a knit cap and with googles on your head at Wild Dogs. You seemed to be interested in me. You had a group of friends so I didn't think I should impose. You seemed really fun. Hit me up!

County worker Feb. 16 around noon. You short, dark hair with full beard, neon yellow vest driving county truck with arrows on back. You were turning west off HWY2 onto Farwell. I was in green car at red light to turn onto HWY2. We locked eyes & smiled. My heart skipped a beat. I think you caught me singing. All I can say is WOW! Made my day.

Area 51 look We locked eyes and shared a genuine smile at Area 51. You were busy tending bar. You: taller braided brunette, me: short hair, grey Under Armour pullover. Didn't get a chance to talk before the party I was with left. Email if it was more than a courtesy smile. area51look@gmail.com

The Shop Sweetie We both had trouble with the wifi, and you had your cute brown boots on the chair. I had a blue sweater and hiking boots. I didn't see a ring, does that mean I can take you out for a wine tasting sometime?

Dear New Me I'm writing this to tell you, everything you think about him is right. He will gaslight you endlessly. It will never stop. You aren't the first, you won't be the last. I couldn't believe it when it happened to me either. How could someone who seems to care about, integrity, justice, compassion, kindness and who wants to change all that's wrong with the world hurt people when it comes to love? Someone who seems like the "boy next door." He was my best friend. I loved him so much. It was hard to understand, though, why people covered up for him, why women support him who should know better, who shouldn't? The short answers are, he's not actually a good person. That's a show he puts on to prey on new people. He picks women who've been in bad relationships, or who are vulnerable in some way. Or who think they're strong. He gains everyone's trust. To the other questions: He has a lot of power. It's scary. He might have a friend who can keep you from getting a job. He is more valued for what people think they can get out of him who are social climbing, and for his money and what he can "do" for them. Then top it off with his married friends who rely on him for emotional intimacy who really don't want to see him with any one partner they don't pick. As for the rest, he will never stop what he is doing, because his way of being is pretty much the same reason Trump got elected at the end of the day. People would have to tell him, everyone else, who are his friends, to stop being an asshole. All the cool kids would have to tell him he's not cool. It's not just your imagination... he's not really your friend.

Good Samaritan Thank you so much to the woman who stopped my dad from falling on the ice. You, and two small children, got off the bus behind him at the downtown YMCA on Wednesday, and saw him start to slide down the driveway because of the ice. You caught his arm and helped him make it up the driveway and off the ice. You are an angel!

My Stuck Subaru Despite everyone telling me to buy a better winter car or, at the very least, a set of snow tires, I decided to buy Subaru's only rear-wheel drive car, the BRZ. It's stylish but not practical in Spokane's snowiest winters. Multiple times in the last couple months I've relied on the kindness of both strangers and friends to push me out of numerous situations where snow and ice got the best of my car. From the ultra-slight hills in downtown Spokane, to the ice berm I slid up and over coming down Freya, to the numerous residential streets on the South Hill, thank you to those who were willing to stop and push me out. Maybe my sad puppy dog face helped, but I never had to wait more than a couple minutes for a friendly passerby to lend a hand. I appreciate all of you, and I couldn't have made it through my snow-tireless winter without you.

I see you I joined this group about a month ago. I have met you and yet I do not know you. I want to! your heart is tremendous, yet I know you have been through a rough path, this past year. You persevere. You journal. You re the total optimistic. I sort of fell into this and... I like you. You are doing great things to create a movement with out youth. Outgoing, funny, cute...and involved. What more could a girl ask for. The time is not right... just yet. NOT Pooh... or who you might think is Pooh??

Bagel Dog Boys!! This one goes out to all my Bagel Dog Boys. We have been threw a lot and you are all always there for me when I run out of bagel dogs. There is nothing in this world quite like a hot bagel dog fresh out of the oven. A golden exterior delicately rapped around an absolutely scrumptious American hotdog. It took God six days to create the the earth and on the seventh day he rested...you know while he was resting he was dreaming about bagel dogs! So here is a cheers to my Bagel Dog Boys. I know at least you have the yeast for my bagel dog feast!!!

Shaneese I wonder if you read these. I wonder if you care. I wonder if you miss my touch and wish that I was there. I think about you always and I hope one day you'll see, that no one in this world could ever love you more than me.

Pay it forward farmhouse table I wanted to give a huge cheers and shout out to the couple that gave me their farmhouse table on Friday February 17. We met at the north side target so I could buy this table from you from your Craigslist ad. To my surprise after we made the transaction, you knocked on my truck window and gave me the money back! Such a beautiful and kind gesture! I will definitely be paying it forward!

Truck Stolen You stole my Mazda B2000 truck from in front of my house during the early morning on Feb 15. It is black with orange pin stripping and I want my truck back! There were apparently two of you assholes! If you see my truck please call the police!!

Broken Bus Jeers to the broken morning bus to downtown that can't lower to allow easy access to get on and whose gas pedal is broken so the only start speed is enough to send passengers reeling down the aisle. Visit your local mechanic and ask to be fixed. Your morning passengers would be so grateful. ♦