aprius 
Member since Sep 27, 2015


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Re: “The Poly Life

MonoPoly relationships rarely work out. Polyamory isn't about stepping out and making someone deal with it or change.

Polyamory is about the ability of anyone to completely open their heart to more than one person. That doesn't mean you go around screwing the first person you see and torture your spouse. That is cheating. It means that you both live in a state of love and support of each other.

To have a successful MonoPoly relationship , both primary partners need to be on the same page. The Mono partner has to be just as supportive for the Poly partner's lifestyle as the Poly partner is supportive of the Mono partner.

The Mono partner does have a limited circle to rely on for help with the relationship, because most in the Mono community won't even try to understand why one would stay in a relationship like that and therefore the Mono partner would shun advice from Poly friends that understand the dynamics better.

The Poly partner has all types of support because they have friends and partners that understand the dynamics very well and would like to see all of the Poly partner's relationships grow and flourish.

It makes it hard to succeed, if the Mono partner takes the advice to not listen to "excuses", to not trust the Poly partner, to think of them as a cheater, liar, and every other bad name in the book.

Honesty is the key. Not brutal honesty. Keep your partner filled in on basic particulars but not necessarily all the details. Tell them if you are fluid bonded or protected during sex. Find out about whether your partners have been tested and what if any STI's they have. Ask to see tests. (I tell people straight up that I have HSV 1&2. Most (about 80%) have #1 about 30-40% have #2.) I am not scared to be honest and open. You need to be that honest, if you are going to be successful.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by aprius on 09/27/2015 at 8:28 PM

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