Long before the movies -- before, even, Bakshi's attempts, before Dungeons & amp; Dragons appropriated the character classes -- Tolkien's world was complete and fully peopled. The books captured my imagination, and I occupied their world throughout the daydream state of my adolescence. One of my favorite things has always been to determine which of Tolkien's races a particular acquaintance might belong to. Since Tolkien's characters are archetypal, it follows quite easily that counterparts to the peoples of Middle-earth can be found walking through this modern age. What follows is a shortened version of a quiz I've been applying to friends and family (largely without their knowledge or consent) for years.
1. What is your attitude toward possessions?
A. I love acquiring useful or beautiful things but I often have too much stuff I don't know what to do with.
B. I have very few possessions, but the ones I have are rare and beautiful and I have had them for many years.
C. I care little for possessions, but there are one or two family heirlooms that I treasure.
D. I have very few things; I am too busy to either acquire or take care of anything.
2. What is your relationship with food?
A. I love preparing, eating, and sharing food. It is one of the true joys of existence.
B. The rituals of preparing and eating food are central to my life.
C. I am often too busy to eat properly, but I can enjoy it thoroughly when I have the time.
D. I eat to live.
3. What is your attitude toward history?
A. The history of my family through many generations is very important to me.
B. The history of my family is, in a very real way, the history of the world.
C. The history of the world and all its peoples concerns me greatly.
D. I have no interest in history whatsoever.
4. How do you relate to others?
A. I am a true people person. I love individuals as well as large gatherings.
B. I have a few close friends with whom I spend most of my time.
C. I have many friends, but none who know me completely.
D. I know a lot of people but don't call anyone a friend.
Give yourself five points for every A answer, four for every B, three for every C, and two for every D.
18-20 points: You are probably descended from Hobbits.
17 points: You might have Dwarfish tendencies.
16 points: You have a place in the Grey Havens.
14-15 points: One or more of your forebears probably married an Elf.
13 points: You are Human.
10-12 points: You are a Wizard.
9 points or less: There are Orcs wandering the Earth, and you might be one of them....
Publication date: 12/18/03