Bloglander

Near Joe Albi, 7/9. You: sitting with your sister near ice box with your
motorcycle. Me: getting ice for a party. Your smile made my ice melt. Talke
me for a ride?

As I strolled in, I saw a glimmering yellow light. I glanced up and saw
you. You were wearing the sexiest little jean shorts with a slouchy white
tee. You had the most beautiful blonde hair I've ever seen. You stopped me
in your tracks like I was in the frozen food section. You're a beach blonde
bombshell. Meet me in the frozen food aisle at Rosauers....I'll be waiting.

Kudos and a loud "hurray" to the STA! Thank you for deciding to post the
(long-overdue) signs supporting the Freethinking populace of our area,
despite enormous pressures from certain advertisers and various religious
fanatics. It's amazing how many "Christians" and other fantasy-followers
have complained through our local news media, yet you have vowed to uphold
this nation's greatest gift: Freedom of Speech. We hope the advertising
will extend beyond, as well. If the Religious-Right is allowed to display
large posterboards of aborted fetuses on Indiana Ave., then we realists
bear the right to be recognized rather than be shoved into a closet and
silenced. I can't wait until August 31st! Again, thank you.

You: Purple and black mini skirt with gorgeous legs and a kitty ear hat (I
think) at the STA plaza on Tuesday the 19th. Just wanted to say you are as
hot as a fresh baked apple pie and probably twice as tasty and if I wasn't
tied down I'd love to get to know you better.

To asshole boyfriends who break your heart, who tell you that they love
you, use you, than leave you. I don't know why our generation is so messed
up, but there is no hope. I wanna say I loved you and I trusted a complete
douche. Maybe if the Inlander didn't get rid of the horoscopes I'd know
this was coming

To the constantly-arguing-outside couple - your friendly neighbors want to
inform you that everyone in the neighborhood can hear your fighting because
for some reason the two of you insist on doing it outside. We weren't sure
if you were aware of this, or if you just don't give a damn. Either way, we
all agree that it was extremely entertaining at first, but now it has
gotten very annoying. You do realize that most couples, have the majority
of their arguments inside the privacy of their own homes, right? So, we,
your neighbors, would like to ask that you either kindly take it up a notch
by throwing objects at each other, preferably sharp ones, or please refrain
from your redundant lawn arguments. Or better yet, get some jobs. Then
maybe you could spend less time fighting with each other. Sincerely, Your
Friendly Neighbors.

I saw you walking your little black dog by Upriver. You: tall, curvy,
tattooed hippy chick with long dark blonde hair. I tried to approach but
your dog wouldn't allow it! I was the really tall black guy that tried not
to get bit by your dog! You laughed and dropped a brilliant smile that
dazzled me. Maybe we could walk together sometime without the dog? Thought
about you since.

Jeers to Idaho Drivers and cheers to Washington drivers. There are only a
select few of you who seem to not know how to drive, but the majority of
you do a great job following the rules of the road. Idaho on the other
hand, please stop driving in Washington. Every time an Idaho license plate
crosses my path, you are either eating, talking on your phone, cutting me
off without signaling or driving 40mph in the passing lane. We don't need
you driving on our roads. Go back to Idaho.

I agree that animal cruelty is heartless and wrong, but you know what,
people are ultimately stupid pathetic lazy and mean, no matter what you say
people are still going to leave their dogs in the car during summer days.
You wanna break said animal out of the car go right ahead and break the law
to do it, that'd be considered breaking and entering as well as theft. I
declawed my cats, I was tired of my furniture and carpets getting torn up,
guess what, I was told that was cruel, my cats are indoor cats, they are
fat happy and lazy, again I'm told that's cruel. I am a proud member of
PETA (People for the Eating of Tasty Animals)

Someone please explain the mentality of the hordes of people strolling
through the lane marked "No Pedestrians, Wheels only". There's even a
little picture if you're illiterate. What a waste of paint.