Thursday, December 2, 2010

Whitworth's profs among the best, possibly hottest

Posted on Thu, Dec 2, 2010 at 12:24 PM

We're No. 16! It doesn't quite have the same ringing quality that a "We're No. 1!" chant might, but you gotta take what you can get. In an exhaustively rigorous scientific analysis combining qualified, objective data with subjective assessments performed by a team of highly trained researchers unnamed "education think tank's analysis of teacher evaluations at," Whitworth University broke the Top 20 for "best professors." (h/t CBS Moneywatch)

Of course, being the professional horseshoers journalists that we are, we don't take things at face value. We went to the streets* to find out exactly what makes these professors so gosh-darned educational.

One psychology professor,** who received an overall rating of 4.4 out of 5, was noted as both a "Very intelligent man" and "a sexy, sexy man. He should teach a class on how to be super sexy." A phys ed professor with a 4.9 rating was described as "a stud" who "has you do booty core."

Of course, being No. 16 means there's room for improvement. How, you might ask, can Whitworth claw its way up past the other 15 to take the top spot? It's difficult to tell for certain (as Whitworth's professor average is a full point higher than the top school), but a random sampling of some of the top schools shows that it not only helps to have a mere 38 professors (many of whom have no ratings at all), but also to schedule courses that "would be an AWESOME class, if I was a 5th grader!"

** We chose not to name names because, contrary to all indications, we do have some class.

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