Friday, December 14, 2012
Hairy-footed halflings padded through a Misty Mountain fog last night as they found their ways to the top floor of the River Park Square AMC. Greeted by theater employees branded with the white hand of Saruman (a detail which recalls the Lord of the Rings Two Towers film and has, if I recall from reading the book when I was 10, absolutely nothing to do with The Hobbit), fantasy buffs and common movie-goers alike rejoiced. There were no lines, even though my fellowship arrived over an hour early, but some people played cards in the halls just to imitate the big opening feel I suspect.
After foolishly buying a large waterskin of Diet Coke for the night's adventure, I settled into my seat at 10:30 pm.
“What do you think of the new frames per second thing?” asks one of my band. “Are those people knitting?” asks another. (They were.) “I have to pee,” I respond. 10:45 pm.
And so it went until just past midnight, when the theater filled, the skies parted, the eagles (and that overly excitable girl three rows back) screamed and we were off.
Now, Peter Jackson said he didn't want to remake the Lord of the Rings trilogy and didn't want the same feel. Bahrum! 'He didn't want to make a movie!' I thought as it progressed.
But perhaps that's not a terrible thing. Rather than making a single narrative, and concentrating on Bilbo, Jackson strung together a collection of short stories, some involving the same characters, some not. The pacing was quick and the distinctions between scenes were well-defined. That may just be another way of saying this movie has no segues, but after watching the entirety, I'm convinced it wasn't meant to. This had the feel of a storybook, one that takes its time with erroneous but delightful details and seeks to place you in an environment rather than simply pass it before your eyes.
Even though it won't match the LOTR trilogy for grandeur, it entertains in its own fairy tale way, and does have its exciting bits. Trolls, giants, goblins, wargs. There was arrow firing, Goblin-bashing, Gollum eye-widening, Gandalf doing magic for once thrill, and as its distinguishing feature, plenty of comedic interjection.
And overall, I had fun.
Tags: movies , The Hobbit , AMC , Spokane , Peter Jackson , Culture , Arts & Culture
Monday, December 10, 2012
Happy Monday! As a part of our pledge to make your Mondays suck WAY less, we bring you the weekly Happy Monday blog. This week's mid-Monday pick-me-ups will probably make you cry a little — but in a happy, smile-on-your-brother/love-one-another kind of way!
1. 60 Moments from Seattle's first day of marriage equality that'll make you tingle up a bit (and maybe cry).
2. A baby polar bear getting tickled. Yes, it's adorable. (And might make you cry)
3. Snoop Dogg (or Snoop Lion, whatever) did a hilarious "Ask Me Anything" on Reddit last week — for like 12 hours! We would like to be called "nephew" now by him. (Might make you laugh-cry)
4. Watching Jay-Z talk to an old lady never really gets old. (And won't make you cry.)
Tags: happy monday , Culture , Arts & Culture , Image
Friday, December 7, 2012
Time for another GOOD READS blog. Each week, Inlander staffers share five-ish of our favorite stories in hopes you'll love them too. Use them to speed up your Friday afternoon, or bookmark them for your morning coffee over the weekend. Then let us know what you think! Love 'em? Hate 'em? Read anything great lately?
1. "The Insourcing Boom" (Charles Fishman//The Atlantic)
A must-read about a return of industry to the United States.
2. "Portrait of the Artist on Crystal Meth" (Jon Ronson//The Guardian)
One man has created 50 self-portraits under the influence of various drugs. Now they're making him famous, and he hates it.
3. "Persistent genital arousal disorder brings woman agony, not ecstasy" (Leonora LaPeter Anton//Tampa Bay Times)
A life lived in and ended from torture no one else could understand
4. "Destroying Detroit (in Order to Save It)" (Howie Kahn//GQ)
Not brand-new, but still fascinating — the story of the men who demolished abandoned houses in Detroit.
5. "4:52 on Christmas Morning" (Dan P. Lee//New York Magazine)
The story of what's left a year after a fire raged in Stamford, Connecticut.
BONUS! "The story of Bo and Joe" (Michael Weinreb//Grantland)
How the greatest athlete of our time forever changed the life of a kid named Dudek.
Find even more good reads over here.
Tags: good reads , what we're reading , inlander , Culture , Arts & Culture
Thursday, December 6, 2012
They finally killed it. Hollywood has been trying for so long to kill my childhood Christmas movies and they finally did it. I am a junkie for A Christmas Story and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I watch 'em every year. Most recently I was watching A Christmas Story and found myself not so much relating to Ralphie as I did when I was a kid. But I had become the old man, wanting to give my 7-year-old his first BB gun knowing that I shouldn't — it is an amazing quality that movie has, to be able to hit on both levels.
Clark Griswold is the dad I am now, bumbling and yearning to give my kids the awesome Christmas that I always had, but always managing to screw it up somehow. While hanging lights this past weekend, I find myself up on a 14-foot ladder and somehow shock myself with 120 volts while my boys are standing down at the bottom asking, "What was that sound, Dad?" I am Clark Griswold. So you can see that these are more than just movies on a shelf to me — they are me.
So I got excited when I saw A Christmas Story 2 at the Redbox. I am like Ralphie unwrapping his secret decoder ring! Or the old man and his leg lamp. I pop some corn and watch it intently for a glimpse of what could be a second strike of lightning, or just a shock from the Christmas lights. I am not naive. I know I can't expect the same magical glow that the original produced; it just can't happen. Like the Star Wars nerds watching Jar Jar, this movie was the nail in the childhood Christmas movie coffin. As I watch it I find myself trying so damn hard to like it… OK, Ralphie has grown up and wants a car now instead of a gun. I suspend all the nerd boy gotchas — Why didn't they film this at the original house? Why was this shot in Canada in the summer instead of Cleveland in winter? — and pretty soon I found my memories shattering like the leg lamp in the window. I thought I heard the sound of taps being played… gently.
Then it jogged my hatred for another pointless straight-to-video sequel, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure. I tried so hard not to rent this movie, seriously. But every time I would pick it up a little voice would say, "Hey, Randy Quaid is still in it! He wouldn't do anything to screw with your Griswold Christmas memories."
Yeah, he would and did. So instead of a Christmas full of mishaps around the house during the holidays, Eddie and his family go to Hawaii or some crap, I get mad even thinking about it. No Griswold family Christmas tree, no lighting ceremony — just Randy Quaid and a monkey. This is what the Joey spinoff was to Friends, pure evil. I just saw Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo repriving their original roles in a 30-second Old Navy commercial, and if you haven't seen it you should look it up. There was more thought in that 30 seconds than both of these sequels combined.
So Hollywood, I would love to thank you personally for destroying my childhood Christmas movies and I would love to help you out by submitting some ideas for future pointless christmas sequels:
The Grinch Who Re-stole Christmas. In this wacky follow-up to the beloved childhood classic, we find the Grinch has gone back to his meanie ways and teams up with a sidekick, a purple grinch (voiced by R. Kelly). Featuring special guest appearances by No Doubt and Michael Bublé.
Next on the crapfest wish list it's Christmastime Charlie Brown 2: Worst Tree Ever. We freshen up this dated classic with some of today's hottest names! Old Charlie Brown is forced to raise $10,000 dollars by Christmas Eve or else his dog Snoopy (voiced by Taylor Swift) will have to be put down! So they decide to auction off the classic tree when hilarity ensues. A story the whole gang will love!
Lastly it's A Christmas Carol 2: Tiny Tim's Tiki Party. We see Tiny Tim fully grown and living with his Cratchet cousin, Mini Mike, in tropical Hawaii! Tim gets visited by three ghosts of his own! The Ghost of Lame, Mediocre and Epic Parties all in one night! Will Tim and Mike be able to pull off the epic party to end all parties? Stay tuned from guest appearances by Scrooge (Ed Asner) and his sexy sister Martha (Jenny McCarthy)!
So there you are, Hollywood. Churn out more crap and make a quick holiday buck. I will be cradling the shattered pieces and super-gluing them back together.
Tags: A Christmas Story , National Lampoons Christmas Vacation , Culture , Arts & Culture , Video
Monday, December 3, 2012
Everyone with a soul thinks Mondays are lame — and so every Monday we're going to cheer all of us up a bit with the Happy Monday blog. No matter what your boss says, you've got time for the following happy things. If he's got a problem with it, have him call me.
BABY ELEPHANT TAKES A BATH!
THIS GUY DOING THE SPLITS
OM NOM MULLED WINE
THE BEST MEMES OF 2012
Tags: happy monday , Culture , Arts & Culture , Video , Image
Friday, November 30, 2012
Sometimes you read something and you just can't forget it. Welcome to the inaugural edition of our brand-new GOOD READS blog. Each week, Inlander staffers will share five-ish of our favorite stories in hopes you'll love them too. Funny, sad, important, absurd. You'll find a little bit of everything. Use them to speed up your Friday afternoon, or bookmark them for your morning coffee over the weekend. Then, tell us what you think. Loved a story? Hated it? Read anything great lately?
1. "The Innocent Man: Part 1 + Part 2" (Pamela Colloff//Texas Monthly)
The portrait of a man who served 25 years for a murder he didn't commit and how the justice system failed him.
2. "The Expendables" (William Langewiesche//Vanity Fair)
A look of the French Foreign Legion and its fight against gold miners in French Guiana.
3. "Rich Man, Poor Man" (April Witt//Washington Post)
How winning $115 million ruined a West Virginia man's life
4. "Painless" (Justin Heckert//New York Times Magazine)
What it means to live without ever feeling pain.
5. "The Lying Disease" (Cienna Madrid//The Stranger)
Why would someone fake having cancer on the Internet?
Tags: good reads , what we're reading , inlander , Culture , Arts & Culture
The ultimate throw down to EVER happen in the history of the Internet is taking place right meow. And we are telling you about it because Spokane’s one and only Keyboard Cat needs your help to win the ultimate title to ever be bestowed on a cat in the history of cats: THE BEST CAT ON THE INTERNET.
You can vote on Facebook until 10 pm Eastern Time today. That’s 7 pm our time, so get out there and vote.
It’s about time someone out there tried to figure out the world's most favorite cat, right? And thanks to the AmazeCats’ Whisker Wars throw down, we’re about to find out. There’s even a bracket. It’s almost as full of cats as your March Madness bracket is full of teams. And, each one of them has gained some kind of notoriety on the World Wide Web. Can you say that about yourself? Probably not.
The Whisker Wars has almost narrowed down to the Final Four and things are really heating up. There’ve been upsets and blowouts, and some of these kitties have won rounds with just a whisker’s margin over their opponents (har har).
To get you up to speed, here are some noteworthy highlights so far.
Much to my own chagrin, the folks who created the bracket match ups managed to pit Grumpy Cat against Colonel Meow. You may recall my mention of this a few weeks back, and I still don’t understand how anyone could choose a favorite between these two cats. I still voted for Grumpy Cat because she was losing, and sadly she did lose.
Alaska’s Mayor cat Stubbs was pitted against the Brit Downing Street cat, Larry — we introduced you to both of them a few weeks back — and while Americat Stubbs pulled ahead in that round, he lost horribly in the next to the menacing-looking Colonel Meow.
The Interwebs also were all abuzz earlier this week when LIL BUB was being verbally beat down by Colonel Meow’s minion army. But sweet BUB still managed to make it to the Final Four. Sorry Colonel Meow.
Luna the Fashion Kitty beat out Venus the Chimera cat in the first round, and also won her second matchup against a lesser-known cat — though she wasn’t well-known enough by the masses to beat up YouTube king Maru.
The first two felines who will go head-to-head against some yet-to-be-determined opponents are LIL BUB and Maru. Maru will either face Henri, le Chat Noir (currently ahead) or Shironeko. LIL BUB will face off with Keyboard Cat or Simon’s Cat (currently ahead), an animated British cartoon cat.
Personally, I think LIL BUB has a pretty good shot at winning. But should she face off against Maru, who has a huge global following, things could get feisty. Stay tuned to find out the winner next week if you’re not following this showdown as closely as we are here at CAT FRIDAY!
Tags: Cat Friday , whisker wars , cats , Culture , Arts & Culture , Image
Thursday, November 29, 2012
I know Spokane's tag line is "near nature, near perfect." but maybe it's time to spice it up.
Something like: WHITE HOT SPOKANE WINTER.
Why? Liviability.com just named our scruffy little berg second in top 10 HOTTEST COLD CITIES. We edged out popular destinations like Reno, Nev., and Waukesha, Wis. Hell, we practically burned Missoula, which clocked in at a very, very low number seven.
According to Livability, we have a hot nightlife scene (Bowl'z Bitez and Spiritz?), great music events (Nickelback?), and lots of museums (If they can hold themselves together). Mostly Livability seems excited about the fact that we're near a lot of ski resorts, which aren't actually in Spokane. But you take what you can get.
In the spirit of things, here some fine points Livability didn't even consider:
1. Since Seattleites can't handle snow, it's one time of year we're the ones feeling all smug and self-satisfied.
2. The lovely tree in RiverParkSquare and the overabundance and decorative Christmas cheer downtown.
3. The sense of serenity that overwhelms a Lilac City on a sleepy, snow-cloaked morning.
4. That fresh, crisp feeling you get driving a car with a broken window courtesy of your local prowlers.
5. No matter how cold it gets, people here still go outside.
WHITE HOT SPOKANE WINTER. Think about it.
Photo found at eibach.deviantart.com
Tags: winter , snowlander , Spokane , livability.com , spokane , reno , waukesha , missoula , skiing , wintersports , Culture , Arts & Culture , Image
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Thanksgiving, the official stuff-yourself-silly-with-food holiday, has passed, but we're already getting sick of those bottomless leftovers in the fridge. Black Friday 2012 — the craziest shopping day of the year — is also on the record books. And, yesterday's Cyber Monday somehow managed to pull ahead as the biggest online spending day on record. We're still sorting through our email inboxes deleting all the sale reminders...
Though it makes perfect sense to think we've passed all those dual-named days of the week for another year, a third day of the week is joining the mix: Giving Tuesday.
Instead of being all about shopping (or eating), Giving Tuesday is just what it's name implies - a day set aside to encourage people to give back to their communities. The national campaign for Giving Tuesday was launched by New York's 92nd Street Y and the United Nations Foundation, and this is its inaugural year. Read more at the organization's website for ideas on how to implement a giving-back mentality in your home or to spread the word through social media sites. The Twitter hashtag is #GivingTuesday.
Here's how you can get involved locally.
River Park Square is hosting a kickoff event for Giving Tuesday, where you can stop by a booth in the mall atrium to find out how to give back to participating local organizations. Each nonprofit has come up with a list of specific needs that can be dropped off at the Giving Tuesday booth today until 8 pm.
Before you head downtown, read to find out what the following groups, which also accept donations at any time of the year to support their missions, are requesting in donations today:
Inland Northwest Baby - requesting diapers in size 4, 5 and 6
Teen Closet - requesting new adult-size underwear and socks for men and women
Safety Net - requesting paper towels and cleaning supplies
LETEM Play - requesting musical instruments
Cup of Cool Water - requesting backpacks
American Childhood Cancer Organization of the Inland Northwest (ACCOIN) - requesting new kids' toys
Mission Community Outreach - requesting hygiene items
Don't fret if your favorite charitable organization isn't listed above. You can always contact them directly to find out what they're most in need of, and we're pretty sure none of the area's nonprofits would turn away your support solely based on the day of the week. Or, check out The Inlander's 2012 Give Guide, which includes a list of many of the area's nonprofit organizations that could use your support!
Tags: give back , nonprofits , donate , Culture , Arts & Culture , Image
Monday, November 26, 2012
An audio slideshow about the history and process of the downtown Macy's Madonna and Child holiday installation. Interviews done by Jo Miller. Photos by Christian Wilson.
Tags: Macy's , Madonna , Holiday display , Culture , Arts & Culture , Video
