Opening Films

by Inlander Staff & r & The Constant Gardner -- The John le Carre book about big government and pharmaceutical companies in deadly cahoots makes for an intriguing movie, and both Ralph Fiennes as a grieving husband and Rachel Weisz as his troublemaking and soon murdered wife give great performances. But the film is all over the place in layering mystery upon mystery, and in not providing enough character development. (ES) Rated R





Trasnporter II -- Jason Statham is back as Frank Martin, an ex-special forces op who now delivers packages while people shoot at him. Sometimes, they kick at him or try to run his car off the road. You get the idea. The sequel promises twice as much transporting, though, as now Martin's cargo is someone's kid. We're not sure whose kid it is, but you can bet it's someone important. (LB) Rated PG-13





Underclassman -- OK, so there's this guy, right? And he's a cop, but he's not a detective. He's a bike cop. And he's clumsy, which is funny, you know, because flipping over the handlebars hurts. So this bike cop, he has a baby face and, despite being completely incompetent, he gets sent undercover to solve a murder in an all-white private suburban high school! One catch: officer Trey Stokes is black. It's probably like every other race-based comedy you've ever seen. (LB) Rated PG-13





A Sound of Thunder -- Having already sparked a million imitations and spoofs, Ray Bradbury's famous short story, "A Sound of Thunder," is finally getting a proper big-screen treatment. Ed Burns is a scientist and, it seems, a tour guide for the near future's hottest fad among the idle rich: time travel. Problem is -- and pulp sci-fi has been telling us this for years -- messing with the past can change the future. Luckily, though (and inexplicably) the change comes gradually, allowing the crew to figure out what insect they stepped on, or what fungus they killed, thereby restoring the course of evolution. (LB) Rated PG-13





The Aristocrats -- A documentary on what is allegedly the "dirtiest joke of all time." Dating to the early days of vaudeville and beloved by professional comics everywhere, the joke -- or so the documentary argues -- is less about the punch line (which is stupid) than the many variations on the setup. The film showcases several comics doing their rendition. (LB) Not Rated