Catch a buzz from food, and we're not talking about edibles

click to enlarge Catch a buzz from food, and we're not talking about edibles
Will Maupin photo
Multiple fruits and veggies were harmed in this experiment.

Sure, your trusty glass pipe never fails, but does it really excite you anymore? Do you find yourself craving something new, something different? Something, maybe, delicious?

With the help of a few friends as guinea pigs, we tested a handful of creative ways to catch a buzz using items you probably have in your kitchen right now. Some are simple, like a pipe made out of an apple — a classic DIY solution for people in a pinch — while others involve multiple fruits and vegetables and a bit of elbow grease and engineering.


When it comes to simplicity, the chillum takes the cake. Nothing more than a straight, hollow tube with holes on each end. Place the cannabis in one hole and your mouth on the other then light it up, and you're good to go.

To construct your carrot chillum you'll want to find a thick carrot with little taper. Slice off a bit at each end so you have a nice, vertical face. Starting from the wider end, drill a hole through the center of the carrot using a bamboo skewer or screwdriver.

Carrots aren't the most pliable of veggies — multiple carrots were harmed in the making of our chillum — so drill with care and ease.

Once you've successfully bored through the entire length of the carrot, dig out a bit of the flesh around the hole on the wide end to make a bowl for your cannabis.


Reviews for our russet potato pipe were mixed. Of all our methods, this ranked worst in flavor. It is a raw potato, after all. On the other hand, it was easy to construct and delivered bigger hits than any of our other non-water pipes.

Start by slicing the potato in half, lengthwise. Then, using a spoon or something similar, dig a straw-sized trough lengthwise across one of the two halves. Midway along the trough, dig another at a right angle to make a carb. Slap the two halves back together, put your cannabis on one end, your mouth on the other, use a finger to cover the carb and light it up.

A rubber band or toothpicks can be used to keep the two halves connected.


Easy to find, easy to make, and you can even eat some of it once you're done; the apple pipe is the most iconic of all food-based paraphernalia.

Pluck out the stem, and the now-empty divot is a pre-made bowl for your flower. Using something like a hollowed out pen or a reusable metal straw, core out a vertical tunnel from the top of the apple to just past midway down. The thinner the better, because you don't want your cannabis to fall into the apple itself.

Then, using the same pen or straw, make another tunnel at a 90 degree angle from the side of the apple. Make sure it connects with your vertical tunnel, because this hole is where you pull the smoke from. Optionally you can make a third connecting tunnel for a carb.

Simple and effective, the apple pipe is iconic for a reason. The main drawback, however, is its compact shape means everything is in close proximity, including fire and your face. Be careful if you've got a mustache or bangs, as they're liable to get singed.


Finally, a 100 percent compostable bong!

The most time consuming of all our methods, but easily the most rewarding. Not only is it effective, but there's just something delightful about smoking out of a big, round melon.

Before you get started on the watermelon itself, you're going to need to make a carrot chillum following the instructions above. That will serve as your bowl and downstem, so you'll need it to be long enough to reach into the water chamber.

Using a knife, cut a circular hole into the melon at about 10 or 2 o'clock position, and make sure to keep the hole just smaller than the width of your carrot. You want the carrot to fit snugly into the hole to form an almost airtight seal.

Then, using a spoon, dig out the inside of the melon like you would when making a jack-o'-lantern — keep the dug-out flesh, you'll want to eat it later. This will be the water and smoke chamber. As you're digging out the flesh, be mindful of the length of the carrot downstem and the depth of the chamber you're creating.

When you're satisfied with the water chamber, cut another hole atop the melon for the mouthpiece of the bong. Then, dig down until you reach the water chamber. Once your second hole breaches into the water chamber, congrats, you've made a fully functional bong entirely out of food.♦

Spokane Renaissance Faire

Sat., Oct. 7 and Sun., Oct. 8
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