Bloglander

It was fall 2004 when I first laid eyes on you. I was the sophomore with
an over filled back pack, you were beautiful, stunning, and amazingly
charismatic junior wearing Converse, overalls, glasses, and some form of
exotic earrings. You refused to let me walk home even when the car was at
capacity you said "get in the car or I’ll never forgive you". Once I got
into that car my life changed forever. We became best friends, we laughed,
we cried, we shared secrets, we fought, we mended, and it seems like we had
some of our best and worst moments together, perhaps it’s my fault it all
came apart. After I proposed to you, I asked if there would ever be a time
when you wouldn’t love me, and you smiled as we drove down the ocean
highway and said "never, not as long as you look at me the way you are now
forever"...I lost my way...the way I looked at you changed, I looked at you
with envy, anger, jealousy, frustration when it was really my own short
comings I was angry about...I looked at you so longingly for years on
end...and when I finally had you in my arms...I screwed it all up. I know
this is what you need, I know you want your time to be your own person, and
that’s why I couldn’t fight for you anymore, because I knew that if kept
going on I would lose you forever and ultimately push you away...now I feel
like that fourteen year old boy again...watching from a far as you drove
away after dropping me off at home. Left to wait again...and hope my path
collides with yours once more. I should have been stronger for the both of
us...it’s my biggest regret is that I wasn’t strong enough. never again
will I make that mistake...if you were to grace me with just your smile and
bright green eyes once more...I would be the strongest man in the
world...I’ve been fighting to make this work...but now I must fight in
order to win you back...I will not wait around...but I will also not lie
that I have this hope in my mind and my heart...a hope I can't really
describe...but at the center of this hope is you...you and all your grace
and beauty. I miss you...I miss us. To the girl with the most beautiful
eyes and smile ever...I wish you the best...cause what else are friends and
past lovers meant for if not to hope the best for the other. Lovingly, boy
with the macaroni necklace....yeah I still have it.