Bloglander

OMG! It's t-minus one hour to the start of the Labor Day weekend! For you sun-worshipers, that means probably the last great cancer-causing UV exposure of the year. For us filmophiles, it means three days' worth of film-watching freedom. Here's what's opening:

THE AMERICAN
Even the presence of suave George Clooney can't save this story of an American operative doing some espionage work in Italy, all the while furtively looking around every corner because he's convinced that "the Swedes" are after him. A bit of action at the beginning and the end bookends a middle in which so little happens, the characters hardly even speak. Insufferably dull. (ES) Rated R SHOWTIMES

GOING THE DISTANCE
Drew Barrymore, who is to romantic comedies what Gerard Butler is to romantic comedies (e.g. not an indication of a coherent plot or serviceable acting), teams up with Justin Long in a movie that deals with the difficulties of long-distance relationships. Since it’s Barrymore, don’t expect the typical “uncomfortable incident involving teledildonics” — Barrymore is a man’s woman, who drinks beer and likes sports. Plus it’s got Jim Gaffigan, which might make it the best rom-com of the year. Though to be honest, that ain’t sayin’ much. (DH) Rated R  SHOWTIMES

 MACHETE
This crazy-funny-violent Mexploitation flick plugs right into the “anchor baby,” “immigrants are terrorists” class warfare we find ourselves in the midst of today. When former federale (Danny Trejo) Machete is hired to assassinate an anti-immigrant Texas state senator (Robert DeNiro), over-the-top bloodshed ensues. But this is only half tongue-in-cheek, very much in the spirit of 70s blaxploitation films, and fueled by the same revolutionary rage. It’s certainly one of the most humanist movies ever to feature such a high body count. (MJ) Rated R SHOWTIMES