Thursday, December 16, 2010

Trailer Thursday! Tron & Swan edition

Posted By on Thu, Dec 16, 2010 at 5:18 PM

It's finally that week that two decidedly different groups of moviegoer have been totally stoked about (though we'd like to see where the Venn Diagram meets on this one). On the one hand are those who've waited almost 30 years for a Tron sequel. On the other are those who remember how writer/director Darren Aronofsky turned Jennifer Connolly into a heroin-addled prostitute in Requiem for a Dream and have been waiting 10 years to see what happens when he gets his tortured genius hooks in someone like Natalie Portman. Spoiler: She becomes a paranoid, hallucinating ballerina. 


Most people are probably going to avoid a "re-imagining of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake" in droves, but I'm pretty sure I can pull you back in with seven simple words: Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis sex scene. Portman is a single-minded ballerina (is there any other kind?) who's getting her shot at the big time but can't break out the funk-ay for the Black Swan. Enter Kunis, who's feuding with Portman and has the passion for the dark side. Oh, and Portman's losing her damn mind. This should be fun. At AMC20 (DH) Rated R | SHOWTIMES

 Mark Wahlberg dons the trunks in this true tale of perseverance, which focuses on “Irish” Micky Ward, a promising light-welterweight boxer who struggled through tough matches and a well-meaning but totally screwed up family to win some big fights and a few belts. Wahlberg is great but Christian Bale, playing his crackhead older half-brother (himself a former contender), steals the film. With Amy Adams and Melissa Leo. (ES) Rated R | SHOWTIMES


We know it's bad because James L. Brooks is directing. Because Owen Wilson somehow passes as a professional baseball player. Because Paul Rudd had to look at Reese Witherspoon while filming a movie, and nobody's talented enough to turn in a good performance while doing that. Because Jack Nicholson emerged from his crypt to show up for four minutes. Because Witherspoon is supposed to be 27 years old (and an Olympic softball player). But mostly, it's because there are way too many plot lines for a romantic comedy. At AMC 20 (DH) Rated PG-13 | SHOWTIMES

The spandex-and-neon aesthetic of the 1982 film has been upgraded to ooze even more smoothly into your visual cortex, but it still looks like a cheap, desperate attempt to manufacture the next sci-fi blockbuster after Star Wars. But everyone here seems to have forgotten that Star Wars wasn’t, you know, STAR WARS because of FX but because we fell in love with Luke, Han, and Leia. It’s tough to love — or even to grudgingly like — anyone here. (MJ) Rated PG | SHOWTIMES

Dan Aykroyd, of Christmas with the Cranks fame, says he'll only work a) when he gets a fat paycheck and b) with famous people. Note to Oscar hopeful Justin Timberlake: Best not to co-star in a movie with a guy who says he's only in it for the money. It’s a slapstick-y CGI film that operates under the premise that talking bears, though rare, are not “OMG it’s a talking f—-ing bear run for your life!” rare. Hopefully, your children are smarter than you and will steer you to a better movie. (DH) Rated PG | SHOWTIMES

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About The Author

Luke Baumgarten

Luke Baumgarten is commentary contributor and former culture editor of the Inlander. He is a creative strategist at Seven2 and co-founder of Terrain.