Thursday, December 11, 2014

Bold predictions for silly awards: Today's Golden Globe nominees considered

Posted By on Thu, Dec 11, 2014 at 12:41 PM


In case you missed it, the nominees for the 2015 Golden Globes awards were announced today, and we're not going to let the opportunity go by to comment on the generally meaningless, highly questionable "honors." The only guarantee for people tuning in to the awards on Jan. 11 is that co-hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will be awesome once again. That, and that the voters of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association will serve up enough booze to make for some memorable award speeches.

Some film fans consider the Golden Globes a decent predictor of the Oscars, but the same film has won Best Picture honors only four of the past 10 years. Granted, the past three years have aligned nicely, but this year's race seems wide open. While some with weaker constitutions will wait to make their Golden Globe predictions in the days leading up to the telecast, we here at the Inlander are made of sterner stuff. We're not only going to make predications based on our first look at the nominees — we're going to make them having seen few of the films. We're working without a net here, people!

We'll check back in January to see how we did — feel free to play along. Let's do it. 

BEST MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
The nominees: Boyhood, Foxcatcher, The Imitation Game, Selma, The Theory of Everything
Prediction: The Hollywood Foreign Press Association loves to remind Americans of our racist history, so Selma is the pick over Steve Carell's fake nose, Stephen Hawking's love story, Boyhood's near-three-hour running time, and the man I'll simply refer to as Cumberbatch! 

BEST ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
The nominees: Julianne Moore (Still Alice), Reese Witherspoon (Wild), Rosamund Pike (Gone Girl), Felicity Jones (The Theory of Everything), Jennifer Aniston (Cake)
Prediction: The Globes love glamorous stars who get a little grungy for a role. I don't know how much they liked Friends. Let's go with Witherspoon for her makeup-free job in Wild

BEST ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
The nominees: Eddie Redmayne (The Theory of Everything), Cumberbatch! (The Imitation Game), Steve Carell (Foxcatcher), David Oyelowo (Selma), Jake Gyllenhaal (Nightcrawler)
Prediction: The Hollywood Foreign Press Association loves to remind Americans of our homophobic past, so it could be Cumberbatch! But the members also love stories of people overcoming addiction and/or physical challenges. Hello, Stephen Hawking! I'm going with Redmayne. 
Bold predictions for silly awards: Today's Golden Globe nominees considered
Eddie Redmayne as Stephen Hawking

BEST MOTION PICTURE, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
The nominees: Birdman, Into the Woods, The Grand Budapest Hotel, St. Vincent, Pride
Prediction: Globe voters might recognize Wes Anderson's Budapest since they know the Oscars never will, but Birdman seems like the sound choice. 

BEST ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
The nominees: Amy Adams (Big Eyes), Julianne Moore (Maps to the Stars), Emily Blunt (Into the Woods), Helen Mirren (The Hundred Foot Journey), Quvenzhane Wallis (Annie)
Prediction: Helen Mirren is English and gives a great awards speech. Emily Blunt is English and is in a movie with Meryl Streep. Tough call. Going with Mirren. 

BEST ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
The nominees: Michael Keaton (Birdman), Bill Murray (St. Vincent), Ralph Fiennes (The Grand Budapest Hotel), Joaquin Phoenix (Inherent Vice), Christoph Waltz (Big Eyes)
Prediction: Whoa, talk about a powerhouse slate of nominees, damn! It could be a lifetime achievement award thing for Keaton, but I'm betting the Golden Globes would love to have Bill Murray give a speech on live TV. 
click to enlarge Bold predictions for silly awards: Today's Golden Globe nominees considered
Bill Murray in St. Vincent

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
The nominees: The Lego Movie, Big Hero 6, How to Train Your Dragon 2, The Boxtrolls, The Book of Life
Prediction: Do Legos transcend the global toy market? I have no idea, but I'm predicting The Lego Movie will win. 

BEST DIRECTOR
The nominees: Richard Linklater (Boyhood), Alejandro Inarritu (Birdman), Ava DuVernay (Selma), Wes Anderson (The Grand Budapest Hotel), David Fincher (Gone Girl)
Prediction: An African-American woman making a movie about America's racist history? Make way for Ava DuVernay's walk to the podium! Especially because it would take Linklater hours to get there if he wins. 
Bold predictions for silly awards: Today's Golden Globe nominees considered
Indiewire
Selma director Ava DuVernay

BEST SCREENPLAY
The nominees: Birdman, Boyhood, Gone Girl, The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Imitation Game
Prediction: The Globes will find some way to reward Linklater for the remarkable task of filming a flick over a dozen years. He'll take this one.  

Let us know what you think of today's nominations. Who got the shaft? Who got an undeserved nod? Why should we have predicted the TV Golden Globes nominations? Stay tuned for either our victory lap or crow-eating session come Jan. 12. 

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Dan Nailen

Dan Nailen was an editor and writer at the Inlander from 2014-2023.