W e're now entering our third season since becoming Super Bowl champions. You could say we Seahawks fans have become accustomed to success, which has involved a bit of a learning curve for supporters of Seattle professional sports.
The Inland Northwest remains a bastion of Seahawks fandom, where "12" flags are commonplace and Sunday afternoon plans can't be made without checking the season schedule. But if, say, you travel across the country in your Kam Chancellor jersey, you won't get far through the airport terminal without getting some eye rolls. It should be known that the rest of the NFL hates Seahawks fans. And it's not just because we use "we" to discuss "our" team.
Yes, you can and should mark this up to jealousy that the Hawks continue to field solid and entertaining teams who play in the league's loudest stadium. Given that this year's squad looks to continue on that success, these Hawk Haters won't relent.
But maybe — and I'm just tossing this out there — we Seahawks fans are a little, I don't know, over the top? Could you be an insufferable Seahawks fan? Let's find out.
1. Do you have any of these things affixed to your motor vehicle?
A. A state-issued Seahawks license plate. (5)
B. A "12" car window flag. (10)
C. One of those Seahawks logo decals that takes up the entire back window of your pickup truck. (15)
D. A state-issued Seahawks license plate with a personalized Seahawks-related phrase... like LGNOFBM or something like that. (25)
2. Are you able to concede that Russell Wilson, although well-intentioned, is kind of a cornball?
A. Yes. (0)
B. Yes, but Ciara is working on that. (10)
C. No. (50)
3. Finish this sentence: Pete Carroll is _________________________.
A. A proven NFL coach. (0)
B. Sexy, you know, for an older guy. (10)
C. Has changed professional football forever. (15)
D. Football Jesus. (40)
4. It's OK to wear your "12" jersey to:
A. A friend's house to watch the game. (0)
B. Work, when the Hawks are on Monday Night Football. (5)
C. The church where you pray for wins every Sunday. (15)
D. The funeral for your uncle, who was a die-hard 49ers fan. (30)
5. When the Patriots intercepted Russell Wilson's pass, you:
A. Said "There's always next year." (0)
B. Cried. (5)
C. Turned to the bottle. (10)
D. Took the next day off. (20)
E. Blamed it on the refs and/or Deflategate. (30)
6. You've been accused of a crime — nothing terribly serious, but there's a chance of jail time if you're convicted. Would you let Richard Sherman serve as your attorney?
A. No. (0)
B. Depends. How many jurors are Seahawks fans? (25)
C. Yes; he is the moral compass of the Northwest. (50)
7. You became a Seahawks fan when:
A. The Kingdome opened. (0)
B. You got a Brian Bosworth haircut in 2nd grade. (0)
C. They made the Super Bowl in the 2005 season. (10)
D. They won the Super Bowl. (20)
E. Everyone else at your yoga studio started cheering for them. (25)
OK, go ahead and add up all the points following your chosen answers. Here's how you rank:
0-30: The Pragmatic Fan. You are a well-adjusted fan who probably never misses a game, but lives a fruitful life outside of football.
35-75: The Die-hard. You have consumed the blue Kool-Aid, but within your bounds.
80-150: Hawked Out. Pump the brakes, friend. You are 12ing way too hard.
155-250: Insufferable. OK, fine; we can concede that within the booming confines of CenturyLink Field, you're not doing any harm. But when you go CenturyLink Mode 24/7, that's where we have a problem. You're making us realize why people hate us.♦
