Tutti Dolci Body Polish and Indulgent Lotion ($22 and $14, Bath & amp; Body Works)
Ah, teenagers -- so young, so irritable, so absolutely aggravating. Bath & amp; Body Works has got just the right thing to sweeten their sour dispositions. The Tutti Dolci line is one of the store's newest collections, featuring lotions, polishes, body buffs and "moisturizing souffl & eacute;s" in (get this) Angel Food Cake, Cr & egrave;me Br & ucirc;le & eacute;, Lemon Meringue, Chocolate Fondue, Sugar Wafer and Cinnamon Frosting. And these aren't just cheap knockoffs of good grub, kids -- these really smell like the dessert cart at Luna or Paprika. But don't lick them, you rub 'em on. And your once stinky, sourpuss teenager will be so much easier to tolerate.
Sirius Satellite Sportster Radio ($99, Aspen Sound)
Does it make your nerves go over the edge watching your teenage son juggle CD changes and the steering wheel as you careen down the freeway at 85? Maybe not -- but it makes us nervous to be on the road with them. So to prevent them from having to switch bad rap CDs, stock their car up with a Sirius Satellite Radio. Unlike XM Radio, Sirius' satellites make figure-eights over North America, providing better reception to their commercial-free stations. And for those rebellious teenage ears, Howard Stern will be hosting an uncensored show starting in late 2005 on the Sirius airwaves. Think of it as an investment: Buy satellite radio, save lives.
New Moon and Bust magazines ($5.50 and $5, Studio 901)
You might not be able to speak to your daughter's estrogen-rocketing mood swings, but no matter what stage of adolescence she's battling, these two magazines can calm her with Zoloft-like ease. New Moon is for the younger ones -- written by girls their age, experiencing their same life lessons and obstacles. Bust is geared for the older, more mature teenage girl, but would even work for that twenty- or thirty-something whom you can't buy for. Both mags have reasonable feminist overtones, but appeal to every female from prisses to punks. Hell, we even found our copy being passed around the diverse ladies of our office. (New Moon subscription, $29, www.newmoon.org; Bust subscription, $20, www.bust.com)
The Last Chance Texaco by Brent Hartinger ($16, Auntie's)
We were all there once, yet there is something so positively baffling to us about the way teenagers are. Yet Brent Hartinger, an author from the Tri-Cities, seems to speak with such knowledge and understanding to young adult readers -- male, female, gay and straight. His second novel, The Last Chance Texaco, tells the story of a group home where the young residents are getting a last chance to stop screwing up, to stop acting out, to pick up their lives and to fill up their tank before life's long journey. We like that Hartinger often speaks to all kinds of teens, including homosexual teenage readers, an audience that is often overlooked or taboo to unfamiliar parents.