What makes someone an artist? Is it simply the act of creating art? A talent recognized by others? Making money off something purely intended to entertain or inspire?
In Spokane writer Chelsea Martin's humorous and candidly truthful new novel, Tell Me I'm An Artist, protagonist Joey seeks answers to these questions and more. As an art school student in San Francisco, she's struggling with financial and family instability, and to feel accepted by her seemingly more successful artist friends.
Partly inspired by Martin's own experience studying at California College for the Arts, the novel's plot also revolves around Joey's proclivity for procrastination, specifically on an assignment for an elective class to film a self-portrait.
"I definitely always wanted to write something from that setting, because it's just such a weird place, and I thought class tensions were really heightened in that space," Martin says from her home's tree-shaded backyard in the Logan neighborhood.
"It definitely came from real anxieties that I have, and stuff that I wanted to think about and work on from my own life, but that I didn't want to write about literally," she continues.
For that final class project, Joey decides to make her own version of Wes Anderson's 1998 coming-of-age film Rushmore, even though she's never seen it.
"That's a real-life idea I had once, where I was immediately like, 'Oh, that sucks, that's a stupid idea,' but for some reason it kept with me," Martin says. "So I used it for this. I really like the idea and the experience of having to do shitty projects in art school that are just so pointless.
"I thought it would be an interesting setup for the book to follow this project she doesn't want to do," Martin continues. "She has these moments of confidence, and then really low moments where she's like, 'No, this doesn't make any sense.' And that feels true for any project, even a successful project. You have those same ups and downs as an artist of any kind."
Between Joey's many moments of responsibility avoidance, she tries to balance the heavy burden of being poor among wealthy friends, a fact she also tries to hide.
This is on display about halfway through the novel, when Joey scratches out a thought in her sketchbook after dinner with her friend Suz and Suz's sophisticated parents: "It's funny that 'starving artist' is a common expression when almost every artist I've known leaves pieces of uneaten food behind when they go out to sushi."
Joey's older sister Jenny, meanwhile, spontaneously takes off with a new boyfriend, leaving her toddler son with their mother. Their mom repeatedly begs Joey via text messages to come back home and help watch the baby, and, later, to send money to bail Jenny out of jail.
While Joey's familial struggles are fictional, Martin did draw from personal experience among former college peers who never worried about money. For readers of her previous book, Caca Dolce: Essays from a Lowbrow Life, the parallels between Martin's and Joey's lives and personalities may be easier to spot.
"It's kind of a mix of my experiences, and a story that I thought would more comprehensively get through these ideas that I wanted to talk about," she says.
"It's kind of a mix of my experiences, and a story that I thought would more comprehensively get through these ideas that I wanted to talk about."
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Even while Tell Me I'm An Artist distills some pretty heavy subjects, Martin does so in her signature breezy, humor-infused style. Joey is unapologetically self-deprecating, but completely relatable in her awkward attempts to fit in and discover her artistic purpose.
The novel is written in mixed format, ranging from Joey's diary-esque thoughts interspersed with the occasional page of her sketchbook notes, internet search history, Craigslist job postings she's viewed and text message conversations. Martin was inspired to get creative with the format by her love of graphic novels. Although she didn't write the novel in a typical diary format, readers still spend most of their time in Joey's head as she recounts conversations, parties and constantly ruminates on the legitimacy of her artistic journey.
"I love the short chapters and feeling like you're reading a comic or something," Martin says. "I wanted it to feel chronological, and really personal. I thought the different media helped shape the character in a way that wasn't her speaking about herself to give you a taste of, maybe there's more to her than she knows."
To that end, Joey is also an unreliable narrator. Because readers only see Joey's world and personality through her endlessly critical eyes, Martin simultaneously builds empathy for the character, as well as a growing sense that those around Joey may not be judging her as harshly over the artistic talent she imagines she lacks.
"I don't think she really understands what she wants to do, or knows if art is the thing she's gonna be good at," Martin says. "I think she was good at art in high school compared to other people in high school, and now that she's at art school, it feels like, 'Oh, maybe I'm not special.'"
Like the book's title plainly states, Joey desperately seeks external validation. She's not getting it from her family, and is too self-conscious to ask friends. She needs to know whether she's on the right path — creatively, emotionally, financially, socially.
"I think being an artist takes a ton of confidence, like, you just have to really believe in yourself and think that what you're doing is good and will work out and people will be interested in it," Martin says.
"That level of confidence is really, really hard to maintain... I think it's a universal feeling because it's hard to keep reminding yourself why you're doing it, and maintain that confidence through the lows of feeling like you don't know what you're doing or saying or who you are. Which, everyone has that, right?" ♦
Chelsea Martin Book Launch: Tell Me I'm An Artist • Tue, Sept. 20 at 7 pm • Free to attend, books available ($27) • Central Library • 906 W. Main Ave. • spokanelibrary.org • 509-444-5300
