Bloglander

Not a ton to get excited about in film this week, besides the return of the Magic Lantern. Otherwise it’s Saw 8,000 or Ed Norton as an arsonist, presumably with a heart of gold.

SAW 3-D
Saw 3-D is also known as Saw VII 3-D, which is really all you need to know about it. They claim it’s going to be the latest in the Saw franchise, but since the last one wound up making $50 million, you probably shouldn’t hold your breath. The plot’s a little bit unclear, because there really isn’t one, but if you’ve seen one of Saws I-VI, you probably already saw this one, too. (DH) Rated R | SHOWTIMES

STONE
Norton, De Niro, Jovovich: They’re so well known, we’re going without first names here. Norton, a convicted arsonist, is trying to manipulate his parole officer, De Niro (who, as a police officer in a movie, is therefore about to retire). To seduce De Niro, Norton turns to his sexy wife, Jovovich (Ed. note: “sexy” and “Jovovich” are redundant). Things get a little heated — in more ways than one. (DH) Rated R | SHOWTIMES