Monday, October 19, 2015

Monday Morning Place Kicker: Everybody won except the damn Seahawks

Posted By on Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 3:40 PM


I've managed to spend almost no time talking about the Seahawks today and I'll continue to not talk about them for as long as I can. That's why we'll start by talking about our college football programs, all of which are enjoyable to talk about this week.

PEOPLE ARE GETTING ON THE WSU BANDWAGON
Coming off a win over Oregon, Washington State returned to Pullman for a matchup against Oregon State and proceeded to pummel the Beavers, notching 45 points by halftime on the way to a 52-31 win. Here are all the details on the remarkable game, which featured big numbers from the Cougars' Luke Falk.

Even more remarkable was the fact that WSU fans packed Martin Stadium, selling out the homecoming game as the Cougars, and this is hard to believe, seem to be real contenders for not just a bowl game, but maybe even the Pac-12 North title.

We'll see about that, but keep in mind that this is the same Washington State team that lost to Portland State just a few short weeks ago.

EWU CONTINUES TO ROLL
Eastern Washington had the distinct pleasure of traveling all the way down to Pocatello, Idaho, to take on Idaho State on Saturday and came away with a 45-28 win. As he is wont to do, the Eagles Cooper Kupp had another insane game, going for 161 receiving yards and also ran back a punt for a touchdown in the win against the Bengals.

Eastern continues its road trip on Saturday with a game at Northern Colorado.

IDAHO WINS A ROAD GAME!
Because there season has been an ongoing series of disasters on and off the field, it made perfect sense that the Idaho Vandals would have the sort of trip they did to Alabama for their game against Troy. Due to issues with their charter plane, the Idaho team didn't take off until early Saturday morning, arriving in Alabama with just a couple hours to spare before kickoff.

But once they did kick off, the Vandals proceeded to do something they hadn't accomplished since 2011 — win a game on the road. That's right, the Vandals had gone four years without winning outside of the Kibbie Dome. To be fair, though, they'd only won five home games over that period.

The Vandals used four field goals from all-world kicker Austin Rehkow to take home a 19-16 win over Troy. Idaho returns home to play Louisiana-Monroe on Saturday.
SPOKANE SHOCK, NO LONGER
Well, the team will continue on, but not as the Shock, after the Arena Football League declined to allow the team to continue use of the name following their departure for the lower-tier Indoor Football League.

The arena football team's website has already been stripped of all Shock iconography and also asks that fans submit name ideas by Friday and the top three will be taken to the team's brass for a final say.

I don't know about you guys, but let's try to make it something ridiculous. Ya know, something that would get on SportsCenter. My current favorite is the Spokane Overwhelming Force of Power and Destruction. Yeah, "Wildcats" and "Thunder Lions" or whatever other animal hybrid you can dream up might be mildly intimidating, but imagine visiting coaches telling their players, "OK, gang, this week we've got a big matchup against the Overwhelming Force of Power and Destruction." How could that not be terrifying, even just to say out loud.

OK, FINE — LET'S TALK ABOUT THE GODDAMN SEAHAWKS
Yesterday was my birthday and I watched about 85 percent of the Seattle Seahawks game against the Carolina Panthers with a sense that things were changing for my beloved football team. Maybe it was the ample Rainier in my system, but I really believed that the Seahawks were about to win a pivotal game — one that was going to pave a path to late-season glory.

And then there was the remaining 15 percent of that game, which featured a Seahawks team that has become impossibly shitty at playing the last 15 percent of football contests. Last week, they let the Bengals back into a game to eventually fall in overtime. As if that didn't suck enough of the collective soul out of Seahawk Nation, the team managed to reprise their fourth-quarter implosion again yesterday, falling to Carolina 27-23.

Oh, and they did it in spectacular fashion by allowing this easy-as-hell pass to Greg Olsen with half a minute left in the game. Here it is — in Spanish because everything sounds better in Spanish.

Yes, I know that our offensive line is the suckiest bunch of sucks to ever suck, but the Hawks are, in spite of that, still competing with these undefeated teams and at times, seeming like the better team. A lot of it doesn't make any damn sense, but that hasn't stopped it from making for a whole lot of pain in a fanbase that's been spoiled with improbable victories and isn't used to these sort of fiascos, especially not on a weekly basis.

Again, there is some positive in all of this. The Seahawks are not getting blown out, although a blowout loss would probably be easier to stomach than yesterday's basket of sadness. And while the offensive line has been garbage, Russell Wilson seems to be finding his targets better and better each week, as evidenced by Jimmy Graham's breakout performance yesterday. The defense, although prone to fourth quarter meltdowns, has felt dominant, even when, like yesterday, Bobby Wagner was injured and hanging out with Macklemore on the sideline rather than terrorizing running backs.

Another positive — the Seahawks have only three days off until they get back on the field. Some might see Thursday night meeting down in San Francisco against the 49ers as miserable timing, but I disagree. It's good. Let the guys get right back out there and play out some of this frustration. Let the fans cleanse the bitterness of that loss rather than waiting an entire week. Play another damn game and get a win in any fashion, but preferably by 40 points, because that is the only proper way to beat the 49ers, and let's move one.

OK, I feel a little bit better, even if I'm not going to talk about playoff odds or the team's long term future. I will wait until Thursday and take it a game at a time. I suggest you should too, or else we're all gonna die from the stress of it all.

AND, TO CLOSE, HERE ARE THE TWO WORST PUNT PLAYS EVER
First, Michigan loses to Michigan State when all they had to do was get off a punt...any kind of punt. Instead, they did this.
And then, not to be outdone, the Indianapolis Colts did this weird thing on national television last night.

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Mike Bookey

Mike Bookey was the Inlander's culture editor from 2012-2016. He previously held the same position at The Source Weekly in Bend, Oregon.