It's almost Halloween night for local Spokane celebrities.
Picking out candy, of course, is
easy. The tricky part, of course, is finding the right Halloween costume on such short notice, especially when you eliminate the
potentially racially insensitive costumes from the mix.
Fortunately, the
Inlander is here to help by revealing a last-minute tip:
Many of you already look like other local or national celebrities. By feeding the region's facial architecture through rigorous doppleganger regression analysis, the
Inlander has identified some of the region's top look-a-likes. For them, Halloween shopping is simple.
For example, all Spokane County Prosecutor
Larry Haskell has to do is to throw on a bow-tie and a beaming smile and he's...
...former
Museum of Arts and Culture director Forrest Rodgers!
Meanwhile, Air Force veteran, former leader of the Spokane Police department and former federal prosecutor
Jim McDevitt just has to swing by Mountain Gear, grab an ice pick and an Everest-ready oxygen mask and he's...
...former County Commissioner and ardent mountain climber
John Roskelley!
And Roskelley, for his costume, just needs to bone up on the complicated nuances of sectarian religious conflicts in the war-torn Middle East and he's...
former ambassador to Afghanistan, Iraq and Pakistan
Ryan Crocker!
Forget throwing together a David S. Pumpkins costume! Star Spokane chef and 2016 James Beard award finalist
Adam Hegsted just needs to pack up his knives of cooking and take up the far sharper knives of politics to become...
... Spokane Mayor
David A. Condon!
And of course, there are plenty of local celebrities who could very easily dress up as national celebrities.
Most obviously, legendary Gonzaga basketball coach
Mark Few is already basically 0-degrees of separation away from...
....legendary basketball coach of a small African village in the 1994 comedy classic
The Air Up There Kevin Bacon!
And former county commissioner and current Greater Spokane Inc. CEO
Todd Mielke just has to grab a few sheets of construction paper, scissors and practice imploring people to respect his "authoritah" and he's transformed into...
South Park co-creator and
Book of Mormon evangelist
Trey Parker!
Kevin Parker, a local Republican representative who'd rather not talk about Trump, just needs to blast his quads with a few more P90X intervals to become....
...Paul Ryan, a U.S. Republican representative who'd rather not talk about Trump!
As for
Inlander publisher
Ted S. McGregor Jr., he needs to thin out his hair a bit and struggle with the burden of a terrible secret to go this Halloween as...
William Hurt's character
Daniel Purcell in the first season of the hit FX TV show
Damages! Everybody knows William Hurt's character Daniel Purcell in the first season of the hit FX TV show
Damages!
Finally, a little bit of makeup and a wardrobe change, and suddenly local supportive father
John Stockton has the perfect Halloween costume as...
... dreamy Dream Team celebrity basketball player
John Stockton!
Wow! They look almost identical!
Full disclosure: This reporter's appearance has been compared frequently to house filler Bob Saget, guy of science Bill Nye, recovering lens flare addict J.J. Abrams and (one-third of the Ben Folds Five) Ben Folds. But instead of going for any of them for Halloween this year, he dressed as the 2008 Economic Crash.