Monday, October 31, 2016

Just in time for Halloween, the Inlander EXPOSES dopplegangers of the Inland Northwest!

Posted By on Mon, Oct 31, 2016 at 1:30 PM

It's almost Halloween night for local Spokane celebrities.

Picking out candy, of course, is easy. The tricky part, of course, is finding the right Halloween costume on such short notice, especially when you eliminate the potentially racially insensitive costumes from the mix. 

Fortunately, the Inlander is here to help by revealing a last-minute tip: Many of you already look like other local or national celebrities. By feeding  the region's facial architecture through rigorous doppleganger regression analysis, the Inlander has identified some of the region's top look-a-likes. For them, Halloween shopping is simple. 

For example, all Spokane County Prosecutor Larry Haskell has to do is to throw on a bow-tie and a beaming smile and he's...

...former Museum of Arts and Culture director Forrest Rodgers

Meanwhile, Air Force veteran, former leader of the Spokane Police department and former federal prosecutor Jim McDevitt just has to swing by Mountain Gear, grab an ice pick and an Everest-ready oxygen mask and he's...

...former County Commissioner and ardent mountain climber John Roskelley!

And Roskelley, for his costume, just needs to bone up on the complicated nuances of sectarian religious conflicts in the war-torn Middle East and he's... 

former ambassador to Afghanistan, Iraq and Pakistan Ryan Crocker! 

Forget throwing together a David S. Pumpkins costume! Star Spokane chef and 2016 James Beard award finalist Adam Hegsted just needs to pack up his knives of cooking and take up the far sharper knives of politics to become...

... Spokane Mayor David A. Condon

And of course, there are plenty of local celebrities who could very easily dress up as national celebrities. 

Most obviously, legendary Gonzaga basketball coach Mark Few is already basically 0-degrees of separation away from... 

....legendary basketball coach of a small African village in the 1994 comedy classic The Air Up There Kevin Bacon!

And former county commissioner and current Greater Spokane Inc. CEO Todd Mielke just has to grab a few sheets of construction paper, scissors and practice imploring people to respect his "authoritah" and he's transformed into... 

South Park co-creator and Book of Mormon evangelist Trey Parker

Kevin Parker, a local Republican representative who'd rather not talk about Trump, just needs to blast his quads with a few more P90X intervals to become....

...Paul Ryan, a U.S. Republican representative who'd rather not talk about Trump!

As for Inlander publisher Ted S. McGregor Jr., he needs to thin out his hair a bit and struggle with the burden of a terrible secret to go this Halloween as...  
William Hurt's character Daniel Purcell in the first season of the hit FX TV show Damages! Everybody knows William Hurt's character Daniel Purcell in the first season of the hit FX TV show Damages!

Finally, a little bit of makeup and a wardrobe change, and suddenly local supportive father John Stockton has the perfect Halloween costume as...

... dreamy Dream Team celebrity basketball player John Stockton! 

Wow! They look almost identical! 

Full disclosure: This reporter's appearance has been compared frequently to house filler Bob Saget, guy of science Bill Nye, recovering lens flare addict J.J. Abrams and (one-third of the Ben Folds Five) Ben Folds. But instead of going for any of them for Halloween this year, he dressed as the 2008 Economic Crash.

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About The Author

Daniel Walters

A lifelong Spokane native, staff writer Daniel Walters is the Inlander's City Hall reporter. But he also reports on a wide swath of other topics, including business, education, real estate development, land use, and other stories throughout North Idaho and Spokane County.He's reported on deep flaws in the Washington...